Hi another one for the stats!

Hi,

Yep, I'm another one for the stats.
I was with my wife from 1991 but married after 12 years together, had bought a flat together and though there were ups and downs I thought we would go on forever and get through anything. Well just like everyone else I was wrong. I had trouble with work, not enjoying it became a struggle but got a new job, then lost that and the following two, still thought we could survive. Was in the TA and always wanted to do a deployment but it was never certain and had always discussed it with her. When the chance came up, she knew I was up for it but there was still no guarentee then last year on Valentines day we talked on teh phone and I foolishly asked if she still loved me. She said she didnt and that was the last time I spent a night in the same place as her. She had been having trouble with her own career probabaly ending (a nanny so children grow up) and friends and family divircing but I thought we could try spending some time apart and she coudl get her head together and we coudl go for counselling but no this was about her. So there I was in a hotel, unemployed and no certainty but still I thought we could try and get back together. I still thought that when I was sent to Afghanistan last year. While I was away and just before my brief R&R she sent me an e-mail saying she wanted a divorce. Then I got a letter to her from a solicitor outlining her position and all I could see was despair. It suggested she was entitled to all of my savings and half of the flat which I had used money from my parents to help buy. Her engagement ring was not counted but because I had earned more that her she was entitled to more of everything. Then I got back last week and she is intent on pushing everything through as fast as possible so she can get on with her life, what about mine:( So I am back in UK froma war zone and no longer mobilised, unemployed and have to find solicitors, work out what to do about a job, cant justify the expense of a holiday and now she has just called me to tell me not to smoke in the flat as it has been painted so it can be sold. I feel like she is driving thigs too fast. My head is in in a thousand pieces and I feel like giving up everything as have done nothing and not done anything wrong but I am facing the prospect of losing everything. Sorry bit long winded but utterly miserable and depressed.

Hi Andrewakaroo,

Just like to say welcome, you are among friends here,we are all going through the same turmoil,it's just good to get things off your chest,and get some friendly advice at the same time.

I am quite new to all this also, I was with my hubby for 30 years married for 28 and was also told by a phone call just 5 weeks ago,he has met someone else,I can't believe how cold he has been he wants a quickie divorce on the internet,I have to sell the house it is going on the market next week,and I got an email to ask what was taking so long, I have 3 of our 4 children still living at home with me that are going to be homeless very soon.He has no heart.


Sorry for the rant there, Take care