changes.............

I am currently in a situation where my wife and I have simply grown apart.We have no children yet,thankfully,and a mortgage - which I pay along with all the bills.This has always been the way - I have always paid for everything.My wife is now refusing to move out unless I pay her rent on a flat!

I have supported my wife for the last few years and feel she is trying to 'drain me dry'.While we are still living together she is disappearing and returning the next morning,going on 'dates' and generally trying to get inside my head.I just need her to leave so we can get on with our lives.She is acting in a way that she accepts she is now single so I don't understand why she won't leave/expects me to pay for her to do so!

I am in a situation where I really don't know what to do- can anyone help!!??

If you want detailed replies you'll need to say how long you've been married, how old you both are, how much your house is worth, if you have any other assets etc because the answer to your question depends on the answers to these things.

Sorry - a bit vague there!

I'm 32, my wife is 28.We have been married for 2.5 years.We bought the house 3 years ago for 155k and it's worth only about 10k more now.I know that my wife has savings,bonds etc from her parents.I have no assets whatsoever-probably because I have paid for everything since we got together!

I earn around 70k per year and my wife around 12k.She seems to think that I should 'pay her to leave'- I don't see it this way!

I would just like to make a Clean Break with as little fuss and pain as possible.This is probably too much to wish for......

Hi Vodanok

Sorry to hear about your dilema and the stress its causing you.
Sounds as you both accept that the marriage is over and you wish to move on and your wife does not.

Before you do anything else keep the communictions channels open and talk talk talk. Explore you buying her out of the FMH and other monetary settlements/offers. If this fails to produce any kind of a settlement then you have to start divorce proceeding.

First of all start a diary of everthing that you wife does that you think is unreasonable behaviour. Do some research on unreasonable behaviour on the internet, there's plenty to be found. If you are "bled dry" on the finance side through unresonable expenditure, separate the accounts, but keep paying just the necessary bills.

Paying her to leave is a no option it is a rocky path to nowwhere and financial ruin. Unless you can make it a legal clean break settlement, the door will always be legally open for her to come back at you.

Decide once and for all that a divorce is the only possibilty and it is want you really both want. Having decided that this is the way forward then you could go for a divorce after 2 yrs separtation but this is not aggreable to either of you. So the only other way is start a divorce on unreasonable behaviour basis. See a sol. on the basis of a free 30 min. advice session. Make notes before hand so you can maximise session. If you/sol. decide UB is the way forward then start the process. I believe the intial cost to the court is £210. Then of course there is the sols. fees, ask likely costs on this. If the court accepts UB then you could be divorced in 7 months.

This will allow you to go forward with the financial separation. You could start Ancillary Relief, beware this can be costly. But you will end up with a settlement.