Help I dont know what to do next

My husband is in the Navy, he got back from being away for 3 months and was very cold and indifferent around me, a couple of days later he told me he needed space!!

He has now moved back onto the ship and it has been 3 weeks...he is coming back to the house whilst i am at work using the household things washer, food etc. All of which not telling me. not telling me he is coming round is making me feel slightly uncomfortable! he is kind of treating it like a hotel, coming in eating leaving the plates on teh floor and I have to clear it up when I get home. He has also sold one of our TV's to a friend without telling me, until I was actually in one day he came round and all he said was that it was going the next day. Can he do this??

I have received a phone bill through and 8 pages of one number that isnt mine!!! I called the number and a female answered! I have my suspicions he is with this persons but he is denying it!! Where do I stand on confronting him about it?

He is telling family and friensd lots of different stories but none the same as what he originally told me!

He has said he doesnt love me anymore and that we are leading seperate lives, he is not willing to give it another go!! I have stepped down from my managers role at work because I realised it got in the way of our relationship, I did this before he came home because I realised I needed to do something. He wasn't willing to listen to reason or try anything to fix the situation. He can't be in the same room as me or even look at me when we are talking!!

Worse cse we start a divorce, i dont know where I stand! I cant afford to move out on my own at the moment. It may sound weird but he has left me dealling with all the financial responsibilities paying the bills , watching the bank account etc which I have done for the last 10 years. But where he won't speak to me I am finding it dfficult to sort things out. We jointly own our property, we also have joint debts, we also have seperate debts which up until now we have been paying jointly from our joint account. I took out a loan to pay off alot of our debts but it is in my name!! Can I make him still pay half of this?

When it comes down to settlements through the divorce, again I am cionfused!! We have been married 7 years but living together for 10 years, what right do we have? He gets a payout when he leaves the navy and a good pension. Am i entitled to any of that? I have inheritance from when my mother died, Is he entitled to any of that?

Would it be fair of me to say ask for the equity from the sale of the house and leave him his payout and pension when he leaves the navy, being that the equity is going to be less than what he will get, but I just want to get it sorted, I dont want to have to deal with this later on down the line when he leaves the navy!

I am so confused I dont know what to do? I am normally a very organised person but I am letting my heart rule where my head should be taking over!!

I find it difficult to think even though he has chosen to walk out and live else where that it is fair he can still keep walking into my life!!!

Hi Sammy....

Breathe! Count to ten.... (punch cushions if needed) and I'd say Big Welcome to Divorce Hell.

... now, wipe your feet on our mat, we'll put-kettle-on and you can snuggle in with us lot, because we're all in the same boat. (Erm, sorry, probably not the best terminology for a Navy wife)... but you get my drift... (erm, 'drift') as in drift wood, washed up... erm best I stop there.
OK: So the only thing we can quote as 'fact' is that (in life) we can never have someone elses' agend.... and many of us, believing marriage for Life, becomes only stable until he runs off elsewhere, uses us as hotel facilities... whatever.

It's difficult, and it's unique to each seperate coupld. No rules, and no guidelines.

When you're ready to file for Divorce, you can name him as an adulterer. From that point everything becomes about childrens needs and financials.
I'll post and contimue in a mo'...

My ex-2b said he wanted divorce last July. I'm on post 486 and nine months on he still refuses any financial disclosure. Divorce is applied for, but won't be granted until financials sorted.
He refuses mediation, and has opted for the most expensive route possible to resolve issues through a Court.

Everything you have becomes a 'Pot' (regardless of who paid for what, what names are on deeds, who has debt, personal debt etc). each party is required (if going to Court) to provide a Financial disclosure (form E) .... and once you know what there is, less debts etc; you can mediate a settlement.
You do not need to leave your house. He cannot sell it over your head, and unless you take out Occupation Order (or Seperation Order) proceedings through Court action, you cannot force him to go either. You can file for matrimonial home Rights if your name is not on the Deeds.
If you post more information, ages, house details, mortgage, capital etc a more accurate idea for how assets 'could' be split.

Where you're at now, is the disbelief stage, it hasn't yet sunk in, but all the 'conduct' problems right now, will only serve for 'Reason' for divorce. This will have little (or nothing) to do with what happens to finances.
Courts first look at the 'needs' to house children. Then the needs of you both. Judges can Order property sold any way they wish, and Pensions and other assets can be offset against percentages of bricks etc.

I'm not sure how you make sure he doesn't sell the telly!? (I'm not even sure if there's a law preventing someone selling their own assets) However, once you're into the Financial Bit of it, it is seen as 'foul play' to be disposing of marital assets.

It'll all come out in the wash. I think the average divorce takes 18 months.

Thanks for the replies!!

I did miss some bits out!! We have no kids thank god I could not think how awful it would be with his childish antics on them.

The house is in both names, but I cant afford to buy on my own right now so I would like to stay in the house as long as needed to sort bitsd out for my self.

I am 29 and he is 34 and up until 4 weeks ago thought we were one of the strongest couples around, as did a lot of shiocked family and friends!!!