LIfe turned upside down.

Hi - feeling very low and needed an outreach. so hi to all of you reading your words has already helped.
Ive been married for just over a year - and i wont say things have been perfect but weve always been the best of friends - about 3 and a half weeks ago all that changed - he wouldnt spend any time with me and i was getting anxious - it really has been sudden - he kept reassuring me with words but not actions and started to stay out all night - eventually i found a number on his mobile and called it and it was a girl and i confronted him - he denied everything - but i could see a list of all the calls and texts he had made to that number and was just getting mad - so last friday my sister came down to get me we packed up our flat and ive been away since - i called him yesterday to say i was coming home to give him one last chance -and he wasnt here - so i had already decided taht it was over - then at 1am he turned up and i looked down teh stairs from our flat and there was a girl there and i screamed at her to you know what off - and told him to go - im not being treated like a mug any longer - but i am totally miserable and want a divorce and its all fresh and sore and i cant sleep or eat. I really want to feel normal again -does anyone have any kind words for me.

Tryingtosmile,
Good morning and welcome to wikivorce, land of lost souls and the emotionally challenged.... We all understand completely how youare feeling at the moment. Betrayed, shattered, hurt, angry, confused, bitter, miserable, ripped in two.

It is a very hard time and unfortunately there is no band aid that will make you feel instantly better. But it does get better. It takes time.

It is a cold comfort, but you found this out after being married just over a year. You still have a long life ahead of you. Some here have been with their partners 40 years and more to discover similar betrayal.

You are young, pretty and have a lot to look forward to. Just perhaps not with him. And it is his loss, not yours.

Try to keep yourself busy - you will find yourself analysisng and trying to make sense of it all, when in fact there is no sense to it at all. Use your family and friends as an emotional prop, and all your new wikivorce freinds will help you along the way. Try a session in the chat room - all gets a bit silly sometimes, but EVERYONE here knows just exactly how you are feeling.

Big hug from me. Be nice to yourself and take care

Mike

I have a few kind words (I hope)
You are my no means alone, there are numourous people on here who are/have been through what you are going through including myself. Maybe read my blog to prepare you a bit?? I won't beat about the bush, The first few months are ''hell''

My top tips to survive

Join Wiki, Well done !! It will help you loads !!

Don't look for anwsers to why he did it, You won't find the answer and the more you look the more pain you get.

Don't even consider taking him back, You deserve better.

Do not sleep with him again, this just turns your head to mash

Talk to people !!!

Don't be embarresed and feel a failure, you did nothing wrong !!

Don't beat yourself up.

Look towards the future not the past.

If your ever confused or lonely just log on to wiki and go to chat and everyone will welcome you with open arms.

I am sorry your here but welcome

Take care and stay strong

Broken1

hi and wecome to the site, hopefully you will find some answers to your questions here.

my only other bit of advice that i could offer - is to take each day as it comes, try to set yourself very short term targets .... Dont bother thinking things through yet atm as you will be in a very bad emotional state for a while.

remember to look after yourself, be kind with yourself.

thank you - youve made me cry lol - which is a good thing because i was feeling all pent up --- my family and friends have been amazing but i just wanted to speak to someone who understands - and i dont think that as much as they want to they will ever understand exactly as tey havent been through this - so thank you thank you thank youxx

hi,
I am glad to see that you are feeling better.
things like this happens but i will warn you if ever you have the inclination of taking him back be very careful.everyone wants their marriage to work but at what cost.
Consider yourself lucky that it is now,when your are still young and without children and there will relatively be no dispute about finance.A leopard never changes his skin.He will be remorseful and everything will be fine for a while and he will even manage to make out that it is all your fault.It happened to me after first year of marriage ,things were never the same and now we are divorcing after 31 yrs ,causing pain to the children,how I wished I had left himwhen I first found out.
You are beautiful and young,the world is your oyster do not settled for crap!!
take care

Hi and welcome to wiki

This place has saved me. I joined about 2 weeks ago. My husband walked out on me after having an affair. We have been together for 25 years and have 2 children. You will feel very low, as I still do. Cry as much as you like it is like a death and you must grieve. Don't blame yourself. They are the ones who have lied and cheated and betrayed us. You have done nothing wrong. Do not take him back as he will only hurt you again. My husband had an affair 8 years ago (lasted 5 years) and he left then and begged me to take him back promising to be the 'best husband and father in the world'. I gave him a second chance which was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and learnt to trust and love him again. Now he has thrown it all back in my face and done it again - a leopard never changes its spots.

When you feel really down pop on this site and talk to us I guarantee it will make you feel so much better. It has dragged me back from the edge on many ocassions. Take care and stay strong. Karen xx