feedback needed please

I've been divorced since March 07 after 12 years of marriage. It came about after us both getting into a rut, poor communication, taking each for granted etc etc. One consolation is that we have 2 wonderful kids. Settlement, Custody and Finances are fine but the 2 things I have issues with are;
1. My wife asked for a divorce 4 months after my mum died of cancer. I wanted 1 final go at things, but she said no. The divorce totally screwed up my grieving process
2. My wife has been seeing an old school friend of hers for about 9 months. he was on the scene at the time we split up and he is now divorced as well. They did not have an affair but it bugs me to think that their friendship may have contributed to the finality of my exes decision to divorce?? I don't think I'll ever know the truth on that one! I can accept them dating but I can't accept him playing happy families with my kids. Maybe this is selfish, but the rejection, hurt and at times loneliness can be difficult to cope with
In some ways I have moved on, I go to CCBT counselling, have dated, love spending time with my kids and like my new flat but any feedback would be appreciated
I do like the phrase there are 3 sides to every story, his, hers and the actual truth! My ex is a good person but I just can't understand some of her actions. Thanks

There's no easy way from escaping your emotions. They're all quite natural. If you've had a major bereavement, (your mother) followed with the double-wammy of bereavement of Divorce, there's no way to run and hide from the obvious (and valid) grief, anger and disappointment that you feel. You are doing the right thing by having some counselling, but don't allow your brain to dwell too heavilly on them 'playing happy families'.

Divorce is hard on kids, but by now I'm sure they know who their dad is, and you will continue to be important in their lives, and you will continue being their father for life. Enjoy your relationship with them when you see them. Your ex wifes new man has not replaced you as a father.

In my first divorce, my ten yr-old son was mostly resident with my ex, and his Internet Tart, (sorry, can't find another word for her). This stranger took up residence, and co-parented my son. My son always viewed her as his dads girlfriend, and knew me to be 'mum'. Now at 18, he has little dealings with her, and is very close to me.

Your family is now living in different circumstances, you can stil be dad, do what you did, attend school meetings etc.

Sadly, what your ex chooses for her life post divorce, is not your business anymore. Many of us here fell jilted and disposed of. I hope you find comfort in reading other peoples stories, and feel free to vent!
Sera
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