Hi everyone

AGH I could just scream....Right, deep breath! My name is James, from surrey 26yr old. Got married about 4 yr ago and seperated last october. I walked out after deciding that I had enough of being treated like dirt by her 3 kids and being relied upon for everything whilst she stayed at home.

It has been all nice up to now, I suggested that she instigated divorce proceedings so that I didn't bring her and her family down, (what do I care about character asssianation?). We both agreed that it would be a clean split, I don't want anything in the house that I have moved out of, and she agreed not to take anything from me. This morning I get papers through in which she has completly got OTT with the reasons I left, (made me look like a right .....) not fussed about that. Then I get to a little bit about ancillery relief...it looks to my untrained eye that she is trying to screw me over! Now instead of it being nice and simple, clean cut etc, it looks like it is now going to cost me hundreds upon hundreds contesting it!
Hence why I could scream! To add insult to injury, I find out today that she has been seeing another bloke for a few weeks and they are getting along very nicely. In the mean time I've been sat in my mates house for 6 months not going out as didn't want to do anything I shouldn't whilst still married!

Any way rant over, looking forward to meeting all of you on here and hopefully even lend a helping hand (or shoulder to cry on) if ever needed!

James ...

Take a deep breath!!!

I sometimes feel that all legal communications have been specifically designed to cause maximum distress. And if you are not careful you will find yourself at daggers drawn when there is really no need.

Has she got a solicitor representing her?

If she has, I suspect they would not be advising her properly if she did not tick the boxes about ancillary relief.

Why don't you suggest going to mediation .. much cheaper and a lot less jargon! You can do that, agree what is fair finacially and then draw up a Consent Order for the court to sign ...

I am sure someone one here has done it and can give more advice.

I know you probably don't especially want to sit in the same room as her right now - but believe me it will be easier - and less costly in cash and emotions in the long run.

And don't worry about the other bloke - feel sorry for him if he is taking your place Doesn't sound like your life was a load of laughs and at 26 you should be out there having fun. You will be soon

best wishes

Hadenoughnow