Broken Hearted

37yrs married no warning just walked 2 be with woman 22yrs younger no contact with sons or his own family who have always been so closeknit.So heartbroken and depressed why cant i get angry?Feel so worthless,what was it all for?

So sorry to read your post, hard to know what to say, my ex left for girl 27 years younger, I honestly believe it is mid-life crisis. He didn't know why he had the affair, scared of growing old, thinking they are missing out on something. It is about them not you. You are not worthless, he is the one with the problem not you. Please read up on midlife crisis, there are good websites you can go on to help understand. Take care of yourself please. Poppie x

Sorry to hear your situation - join the chat room if you want to talk

Hello Old Shoe,

Welcome to Wikivorce, we have plenty of lost soles (Eeeek!) here who were dumped by some real heels (Double Eeeeek!)

Joking apart, I am really sorry to hear what has happened. It is pretty devestating when someone that you truted and relied on implicitly suddenly disappears without so much as a backwards glance.

No wonder you are feeling so low. There is no easy way to deal with the feelings of sorrow and grief. It is like a breavement, and you have to mourn for your lost relationship. The anger WILL come, believe me. You won't believe how angry you will get.

But for now, it is about being kind to yourself. Try to keep yourself occupied - I know it is impossible sometimes - you are in a state of shock and nothing seems to make any sense and you are worrying yourself silly. It occupies all your mind and time, looking for that elusive explanation of why it happened.

You are worth so much more than this. I think you should change your name to 'killerheels' or 'kinkyboots', because old shoe you are not.

Take each day, one at a time. TIme is a great healer, ven if you don't think that at this moment. But you have to go through this emotional vaccuum to start to feel better about everything.

Lots of new friends here who know exactly how you are feeling and will help you in any way they can. Just ask away. Maybe write a blog, if you feel up to it. It has helped me to look back over a year and see how much I have moved forward, personally and emotionally.

It is not an easy time, but you found the right place.

Take care

Mike

Hello Broken hearted

Can I just say I know how you are feeling,it has only been a few months for me was married for 28 years and 4 children,just like you no warning, and I just got a phone call to tell me.

You are worth so much more than this, the anger might come it might not, would it really help if you were angry? there will be a roller coaster of emotions to go through, and there is no set time for any of them, every one is different.

What has helped me is wiki although I don't post a lot, I do read and the advice and support is here for the taking.

There are wonderful people here who have either gone through/going through/just starting on the road of this hell.

Keep posting and they will be there for you too.

Hi old shoe,

At the risk of sounding very facetious : I do think that you should start your stay here on wiki - where you are welcomed with open arms - with a nicer name than the one you have chosen.
Think of something light, feminine, airy, sexy, funny, but not 'old shoe' please ! For your own sake and your self worth.

You will feel grotty for a long time to come; there is no denying or by passing that.
HOWEVER, there are ways of making this painful period you are facing less so : I would strongly advise you to go and talk to your G.P. about what has happened. You will probably be pleasantly surprised at the way they treat you : not like an old bat who has taken leave of her senses, but a human being who is in pain.
Now is not the time to be dainty about medication : if you cannot sleep and you are prescribed sleeping pills, do take them. This is not a long term panacea but something to get you over the worst. If you are given anti-depressants, do give them a go as they do blunt the most painful moments.
Think of yourself as grieving. You are mourning your marriage which has ended and with it, most of the years of your life.
You have a right to do this. In your own way. But the grieving process should not destroy you : you are worth more than that.

You have found Wiki where we all are at various stages of this tortuous road. Many people have been where you are now. We are ready to help you, because we know what it feels like to have your life snatched away.
It will get better. You are not ready to hear and accept that yet. With the help of the wiki people here we can prop you up and keep you going.
Do not hesitate to post again.
When you are ready, you may want to come and join us in the chatroom - it does get very busy and sometimes manic in the evening, but you will always find someone to talk to.

You have come to the right place and I hope to hear from you soon.
In the mean time here is a big hug {{{{{{{{{old shoe}}}}}}}}}}} and for goodness sake girl, change that name !

Red XX

You have

Oh I'm with red I'll call you shoe.
Believe me I know how it feels. 36yrs together and 31 married yes it hurts more than I thought anything could. But there is life all be it not the one you would have chosen for yourself.
Keep posting. pm me if you want to chat and think of a new name, stiletto (a good weapon)
Flip flop (born again hippy)
You choose but remember when you go in the chat room thats what you'll be called!

Big (((((((((((hug)))))))))))) to you
Megan X