Male Victim of Domestic Violence - Her Arrest

Hi,

My wife and I are divorcing. On monday she got arrested for assaulting me in front of our children then later threatening to throw a vase at me.

The police arrested her and an investigation is pending where I have agreed to be a witness.

I am the primary carer, house is rented in my name only. She has moved to a hotel and given me the keys to the house.

What next step should I take? If the investigation doesn't go any further then could she demand to move back into the family home? If so, on what grounds?

The assault was not major. She punched me on the arm but not really that bad. However her moods are dark and she uses foul language in front of the children regularly plus is racist towards me.

Do I file for a non-molestation order? Or possibly that would be "overkill". I also want her to see her children and I am concerned that they need their mother and should have access to her in as normal a way possible.

She is a non-EU national on a spouse visa.

Any advice on next steps would be seriously helpful.

Oh dear, it does sound like things have got pretty unpleasant. It cannot be good for either of you or the children.

Does you have the funds between you to be able to rent an alternative property for her?

It can be very difficult remaining in the same property during the divorce process. If you have no option but to do so, you may need to consider a non molestation order with a joint undertaking - ie you both agree to play nicely. Ultimately you may need to consider an occupation order if things don't calm down.

I am not taking sides but I imagine she is pretty scared about the future. It might be helpful to explore what that might look like in terms of staying in the UK, housing, income, child arrangements etc to help take the heat out of things. Maybe a trip to the CAB would be helpful or talk to a specialised organisation that deals with issues around immigration status?

Hadenoughnow

The problem is, there really is no talking to her at all. She is demanding to be let back into the home for example when its clear that we need to break up.

Also I have to think about the children. They have lived in an atmosphere of negativity, shouting, hearing their father get called foul names. Its abuse to me and them but doubly abusive to them as they experience it plus witness and influence their own model of what a "normal relationship" is.

Also if my wife is suffering from emotional and mental health issues surely the best place for her is away from our children, probably back in her home country where she can get the care she needs...?

If there are sufficient funds for her to be housed elsewhere while things are sorted out, you may need to consider a court order.

She can get support here and importantly maintain a relationship with the children. If you really think that is not in the children's best interests, you would need to ask the court to limit or even cease contact. It would be very unusual for them to stop contact altogether. It is more likely she would be supported to repair the relationship with them.


Hadenoughnow