Why is there no help for men on the internet?

I was married for 16 months when my wife asked for a divorce, she then put an occupancy order on the family home(which is my name , title ,deeds and deposit were all made by me including all mortgage payments and bills) . She then got an temporary order from court for £300 a month which she has always been paid. She stayed in the house and I lost my job and she waited whilst I was expected to start a high paying job again and also receive a substantial settlement from a court case to do with a legal case against a firm I had invested in. When the job due primarily to my age didn't materialise she became increasingly agitated and eventually left the house to go and live with friends.
Whilst we waited for the Decree Absolute she made a series of demands for payments of £250,000(this was a 16 month marriage and no children) to sign a Consent Order. I refused and so after claiming I had been violent( I hadn't) have a criminal history of GBH(I don't) she took a car in my name and lots of property from the house so I changed the locks.
8 months after she left (her lawyer advised her to return as she had run out of money) she informed me she was returning and broke in. She has not paid a penny ever to the running of the house and I paid the deposit and mortgage, my wife now has a relatively well paid job around £25000 a year and still refuses to leave the house and is increasingly rude and trying to force me into confrontation.
This has a detrimental effect on my mood and mental health, and yet I cannot find any advice on what to do online that does not start with the line "my husband...." What if the woman is the problem??...And has anyone got any clue what the hell I can do?)))

You'll find the advise on here applies to all.

If it starts with "my husband" that's from the person asking the question.

Has your soon to be ex applied for a home rights notice?

Where are you in the divorce process?

Yeah just shouting at the moon i guess)) and why i joined this forum as i couldnt find advice for men in my situation. We got Decree Nisi in july 2017 , but she wont settle or answers questions to form E and so it just drifts with my lawyer seemingly doing nothing. She has a home rights order on house but left in january 2019 , broke in to regain possession in august 2019 and has been living here without paying a penny since.

Sorry to hear of your situation.

If she isn't forthcoming with a voluntary disclosure then you may need to consider applying to court to get the financial aspect sorted out.

Did you live together for any time before you married?

If you didnt then yours is a short marriage with no children so the rule of thumb would be that you each take out what you put in and share profits or losses from the marriage equally. We often recommend providing some 'go away' money - say enough for a deposit and six months rent.
.
If you did, the advice would be different.

It sounds like a more robust approach is needed and i would agree that an application to court may be necessary. You need to have attempted mediation so you can get sign off for an application to court.

If you are not happy with the way yoir solicitor is dealing with this you can always change to another firm. Or consider self representation. We have lots of resources to help and a range of low cost services drsigned to support litigants in person. Givd the helpline a call.

Hadenoughnow

Thank you for response. Yes she moved into my rented flat for a period of 6 months before whilst i looked for a house. I will indeed be looking to represent myself and seeking advice and use the helpline

Hi Ozblue.
I feel your pain.
I don't have any solutions but am hoping that this simple acknowledgement makes you feel less alone.
I too searched everywhere online for support but found only women-centred info. Then I found this site so am feeling more hopeful.
My wife is also demanding unreasonable things. She has also made false claims to anyone who will listen such as telling our friends that I left her financially destitute. When we separated she emptied the joint bank account where ALL of my earnings ever went and NONE of hers. Over the years she has physically beaten me. She has definitely mentally weakened me.
I thought we had sorted the financial stuff but now she is back for more.
Unfortunately, I too do not have a clue. But I do feel your pain.