Wife obtained Decree Absolute without my knowledge

Advice on next steps please....its a nightmare!b

Married in 1995

marital home purchased on joint mortgage, equal deposit contribution and i have paid mortgage as working and she looked after children.

Until covid I see children every other weekend.

Three "children" (now aged twins 25 and 19)

Separated 2004

I am self employed (Ltd company) management consultant) currently unemployed due to covid and receiving no benefits due to director of limited company status. But have worked consistently 1986 to 2020.

Wife has remained in family home with children and I paid mortgage in full (= same amount as maintenance) fully
I have had to rent property 2004-current whilst waiting to divide marital home until youngest child was 18 (in May 2019)

Marital home value c£225k, no mortgage

Wife owns 50% of mothers house £200k (mother still alive, mother put house into 2 daughters names in c2008 in attempt to avoid care fees. Mother is well and resides in house)

Wife and I have minimal pension pots each less than c£50k each

I have no assets (even driving current partners car currently)

I attempted divorce and settlement 2005 onwards but wife wanted all off family home which I refused.

Divorce mediation failed- she wanted all of family home.

I elected to wait until youngest child was 18 to then pursue divorce and 50/50 split of famy home. Plus legal fees were not affordable due to my paying mortgage plus my own rent.

In 2019 after multiple attempts to engage with wife re getting divorce and finances sorted (she avoided calls meetings etc)....i was handed a copy of divorce absolute papers dated Nov 2016 by one of my children who had been given a copy to give to me by wife in lieu of meeting.

At time of divorce land registry details:
1) ex marital home 50/50 ownership of wife/me
2) wife's mother's home 50/50 wife/wife's sister.....but wifes address given as sisters address (an attempt to hide asset??)

I had no knowledge of divorce despite being in contact with wife. No papers were served at my home address (known to her) or any contact attempted. No financial agreement was attempted.

I have requested details from court to ascertain how she obtained divorce as I had no knowledge. (I suspect she forged my signature or lied re not knowing my whereabouts). I also spoke to her on at least 3 occasions post nov 2016 saying we needed to get divorce and settlement agreed and she declined to inform me that she had already got a divorce.

She also informed all 3 "children" about divorce but then told them not to tell me. Despicable behaviour.

Her motive.....she has a new very wealthy boyfriend who recently got divorced and I suspect she wanted to be divorced in case he popped the question but wanted to remain living in ex marital home rent free so did not tell me.

I cant afford a lawyer, how do I progress getting my share of ex marital home.

I'm awaiting details from divorce court as to how she obtained divorce.

Wife was found by DSS in c 2015 foe fraudulently claiming child benefit allowance and also not advising council that twins were 18.....so she could retain 25% council tax discount As single occupier.

My plan is to write to exwife formally, stating that following her pushing through divorce without my knowledge and finance settlement that I am now seeking my share of the marital home plus rent equivalent to 50% of house since Nov 2016. Plus 50% of her share of her mothers house.

Help - what do I write?

Hi SRD123,

Blimey what a kerfuffle that a soap writer would be proud to get that storyline on the screen.

I am also curious as to how she was able to obtain the divorce without your knowledge as you have to explicitly apply for Decree Absolute. As you separated in 2004, would I be correct in assuming that you had no involvement in the Decree Nisi? if so, could she have gone down the 5 years separation without consent route? Then as far as I know, once nisi is granted, then you dont need the respondants approval for the absolute.

What I'm wondering though is, aside from that and the marital status meaning you're also able to get married should you so wish, the financials are a separate matter. This is why its strongly advised for people to get that sorted before absolute. So from that aspect its still unfinished.