Shocked and completely broken

Hi everyone
My husband of nearly 21 years is now leaving me with three children. I have spent years working hard to support him and even supported him through university. We have had our ups and downs but I never suspected this. He has decided to leave very suddenly and used rows that he created as an excuse. He has recently taken on a new job and within weeks became very distant. I had my suspicions that he had met someone new but he denies it. I recently got hold of his phone and he became very agitated and snatched it back from me. I then watched him delete a message which he then denied doing and tried to show me other messages instead. He is telling me I am paranoid and lying. I managed to get him to admit there were messages but he is still unwilling to say what is going on. He is very guilty and keeps saying that he wants me to have the house when before in a row he would never have said that. I think he is cheating and has been for a while which is why he became so distant all of a sudden. I am in shock, cannot sleep and wake up having panic attacks. I have never in my life felt such devastation. I know I can’t and don’t want to make the marriage work now but I am scared and lonely. He is still currently living in the house as we need to sort out finances. I cry all the time and can’t eat.and am worried about the future I need advice on what to do.

Welcome to Wikivorce but sorry you find yourself here. Apologies for the slow response.
Please don't make any hasty decisions. You have had a dreadful shock. He has had time to plan. Give yourself time to gather your resources, research your options and then work out what is best for you and the children.
There is lots of good information available on the site and we also offer various low cost services to support you through this.
Give the helpline a call and consider booking a review with one of our divorce consultants who can help you explore your options.

Hadenoughnow