Divorce

Hello,
wonder if you can help me, my husband left the family home 8 years ago when our kids were 16 and 19, we have had no contact since.
He was abusive in many ways , I have paid the mortgage for the last 8 years and have a qualification as a pharmacy technician in this time
and went from part time to full time to support me and the kids , putting them through uni along the way.
I am emotionally and physically exhausted from the fall out . We have had no contact with him and he has not contributed anything in that time. I can no longer afford the upkeep on the property and wish to get divorced and get permission to sell the house which is in both our names and take my half and finally move on. The problem is he does not want to be found after extensive searches I finally contacted my MP who contacted the police who found him , he informed them he wants no contact with us at all, which is fine but I am unable to move on.
I appointed a local solicitor who in 2016 made an application for divorce which was notserved so it stalled for quite a few years She has now done an application to dispense with service but anytime I contact her which is not often she is really rude and does not seem to care the strain I am under . She has told me if I want to apply to sell the house it will be very high cost but I do not know what other option I have as the house is falling around my ears. He also has large Pensions which were due out last year which he has not claimed I ask if I was entitled to any of it and her reply was no it will cost too much money
Please any help and advice would be most welcome