seeing ex after a long time.

Just returned from a shopping trip and for the first time in 4 years I saw my ex husband.
He looked away but I looked straight at him and saw the sad person he has become.
He was unshaven with a weeks worth of stubble on his face and his hair was well overgrown.
What did I feel nothing but pity for him.
This person I once knew doesn''t care about his appearance any more nor about his son I think as I learned today on the one day of contact he takes him to the local pub to play darts and snooker.
What happens to these people we once knew and why do they think drinking is the answer to their problems and why include the child in these activities.
I''m glad I made the break and seeing the person he''s become and being through what I have has made me stronger.
It also made me sad to see him return our son with the remaints of yesterday''s pizza and had taken him to an Indian restaurant today.
Why do so many people have trouble coping?

Dear blondecazza, I havnt seen my stbx for 9 months yet will be meeting him soon in court. Havnt spoken either. Don''t miss it as for many years before that I stopped being anything but the ''mother'' and not the wife. He stopped acknowledging me and only came home to eat and sleep, conversations were strained and I felt I was so alone. And even then I tried to give it my very best but he was already gone, without a care how I felt. I will remember the sadness and pain he caused me and still does, oh how I want to see him withered and frizzled. Eye witnesses say he looks awful as if he has aged twenty years! I cannot say I am stronger yet and thank god you are! Good on you and I wish you the best! (())

My ex looks different to how he looked when we were together. Different haircut, not clean shaven etc. Not that I''ve seen him for years and to be honest it really doesn''t matter to me now.

I''m not sure you can really conclude that he is not coping from the fact he hasn''t had a shave and decided to go to the pub and takeaway. Perhaps he was having a chill out weekend.

The point is that it doesnt really matter. Your lives are on separate paths.

Not seen my ex for a few years now. But when I saw her last, she was with the happy family inside and they didnt look that happy to be honest. But what did I expect? Skipping thru the daisies laughing and joking? And I know that when money goes out the door love goes out the window. But thats life right? I have done just fine thanks.

But the one thing that bugs me is that this person broke my heart. Broke my world (nearly) and I wept a lake over her. And when I look at her, for the life of me I cant understand why. I dont hate her. I dont anything. I feel nothing now. She is just someone I used to know. I will bet the spot on my bum that I will never ever let someone do this to me ever again. Marshy.

dear marshy you are truly wonderful and you hit the spot with your analysis. I saw my stbx last week at court, he looked miserable and aged ten years, avoided looking at me directly but I know he did look when I wasn''t looking and when court was adjourned he made a runner out the door. pathetic doesn''t even describe it. it must be the guilt. I dreaded the moment but then bolted up and held my head up high. like you I felt this is the person who broke my heart and my world and all for the sake of wanting his freedom with other women, how sad. we are going through a terrible acrimonious divorce where all war broke loose. such vindictiveness with no remorse whatsoever. why? because of selfishness due to midlife crisis. i am in one piece because i have to be for the sake of my adult children who stood by me, they are my life, i will never let anyone hurt them and everytime i see or hear from them my heart jumps with joy. i don''t hate stbx for going after other women, but i do hate him for hurting my children as he has been trying to do. to me he is someone i knew albeit for 38 years. and i hope one day he gets what he deserves.

sherrara wrote:

i don''t hate stbx for going after other women, but i do hate him for hurting my children as he has been trying to do. to me he is someone i knew albeit for 38 years. and i hope one day he gets what he deserves.

sherrara wrote:. He burned his life for a dream that he already had. It was right in front of him and he never even knew. Thats like a poor homeless man carrying around a gold credit card with no limits in his pocket and not knowing. These people are foolish to the extreme for thinking that exchanging one life for another. All that happens is they become hollowed for a dream. But always hold you head high. You have done nothing wrong. And life will reward you. Maybe not now. But in time. Marshy.