How do i deal with her after all this...

Ok I've been on here approx 1 year now and i'm in a bit of a low after some news.

If i give you my story i would appreciate your thoughts and maybe some advice with how to deal with the future.

Together for 7 years then married for 2 years with a daughter who is now 5 years old, before she told me she wanted a divorce, she didn't want to try counselling and wanted a quick divorce.

Ok so we were living in the same house even though i worked away for 50% of the time and waiting for our house to sell.
We agreed to start doing our own thing when i was home (she spent long weekends away with friends every time i was home looking after our little girl) and trying to be civil and not to upset our little girl or confuse her.

It was going ok until her solicitor started filling her head of what she could get from me, basically taking everything from the house sale (which i sold all my shares, savings plans to buy, something i had before i even met her).

There was plenty of rows and she was buying things for her future house out of the joint account and thats when the mud slinging started, plenty of row's telling me it was all my fault (i agreed to take there blame for the divorce to rush it through,all the while i had to keep my mouth shut as my solicitor told me she could take more if she wanted than the 50/50 we had agreed).

We then had an offer on our home accepted so we then started to look for our own place. I found somewhere close by my family and close to my old address so i could spend less time travelling with my daughter.

Over the course of the year i had to put up with her telling me to get out, saying she could see whoever she wanted, started hiding emails and texts and taking calls outside if i was home, all the while i had to put money into the joint account over and above what i should of to keep the household going whilst she spent money like no tomorrow and even sending money to her mothers bank account even though she denied it to her's and my solicitor (clear as day on the bank statements).

Anyway i moved into my place and set about renovating it whilst waiting for the divorce to finally come through (Decree Absolute any time now).

When i've been home i've had my little girl more than we agreed so she could have nights out, weekends away?

Anyway this weekend i dropped my little girl off and she told me she has started seeing someone, this someone is a old friend and used to go out with her best mate and it ended badly. I remember her telling me this guy had always said he should of been with my stbx instead of her friend and i also remember my stbx telling me he was lovely.

So she tells me she's been seeing this guy for only 3 weeks and they met in a furniture place by accident, even though they live 30 miles apart and the nearest store is miles from both of them. She told me again how nice he is and wants me to meet him and that she will be introducing him to my daughter slowly.

Basically i'm numb as i don't believe anything she says and i think she's been seeing this guy for a long time before and she's finally saying it now that we are basically days away from finally being divorced. She keeps saying to me we are getting on well, but i'm only been civil because of my daughter, i'll never forget the things she said to me during the past year, and even though her family said to stay in touch i want nothing to do with them as i feel like they have known something i didn't.

My parents and best friends have also been biting their tongues and have finally told me that they always believed this woman was seeing someone else.

Anyway i've been avoiding her calls for the last 2 days and finally spoke to her, she says she cares about me and wants me to be ok and wants me to meet this new guy!

I've basically told her i want nothing to do with this guy or her life other than when i need to contact her to speak to my daughter or arrange pick-ups or drop-offs.

Inside i'm raging as i believe i've been walked all over by her over the past year and this was just the final kick in the balls by her, especially as i have had to bite my tongue.

She has known all along my biggest regret over this sorry episode is the fact that another man will be coming into my daughter's life and that is killing me inside.

Anyway thats my story over the last year, now i finally get some closure in the next few days, weeks but deep down i can't bear this woman and it's killing me having to be civil to her...

Any advice or comments appreciated...

I feel so sorry for you, it sounds as if you have tried your best to get through a really difficult situation only for her to give you a final battering by her news.
The main person you need to think about through this is your daughter.
Regardless of who comes into her life she will only ever have one Dad and that's you.
Concentrate on getting access through the legal channels and do your best not to dwell on whoever her Mother is seeing.
It's over and how you deal with it will impact on the rest of your life.
Counselling with the right person should help, at present you are giving yourself a bad time by going over things time and time again.
Feeling angry is natural too, but the best revenge is to get on with your life and be civil but distant when you meet.
Time helps enormously, but you have to help yourself too by getting on with the life you now have. Good luck.

Hi SplishSplash, a tough year, but it's coming to an end. I can't really offer any advice, but i can tell you something that might prick up your ears & bring a giggle

My Kids absolutely dispised my 1st wife's new partner, so much so, that the 3 of them told there Mother, if you see him again, we want to live with Dad , needless to say, the 1st wife has been on her own for many many years & has become a bitter & twisted ol' bag.

As time wnt on I met my current lady, low & behold, my kids call her Mom & the grand kids happily call her Grandma

So try not to fret to much at the moment, time will tell, you could end up having a big ol' belly giggle.

Best wishes my frined, it will all come good i can assure you. G

I completely agree with what @Grrrrrrrrrr01 said. Don't dwell on the negativity that your wife has created, instead move on hopeful that you have the best to come!

Thanks for the comments, just an update there has been more name calling from her and something she said something about her family calling me etc etc.

Tbh I'm done with them all now and moving on, I got my decree Absolute in the post on Friday and it's all over.

Now to concentrate on being a dad to my daughter and moving on with my life.

Back into my fitness and I'm going to take up the guitar lol...

Morning SplashSplish,

Good on you my freind, it's funny, i've got back into my fitness plan when i'm home & i'm learning to play the drums .

Make as much time for you as poss, try all the things you've always wanted to have a go at, even if it turns out your pretty crap at them lol, you tried .

Concentrate on being a wonderful Dad & if you can afford to, put a few quid away each week towards breaks away with the little one.

You have walked away, had a lucky escape, you can hold your head high & be the best Dad in the world & that's all that matters.

Best wishes to you my freind, 2017 is just around the corner, It will be your year