Life after divorce

Hi everyone,
I've been through divorce twice now so I count in the know how it feels camp. It seems to me that much of what you read about in help is to do with the legal and practical issues. I know how important they are, but I also think that help with the emotional fall out is so, so important. After getting through the divorce I know the feelings and the challenges I had and with some, still have.
What do others think are the main challenges and personal difficulties they faced or are facing at the moment?
Where do you go to get help with them?

Hello Kazz and Welcome to Wikivorce.

Wikivorce provides not just the practical and legal information, but also the emotional support that is crucial during a relationship break-down (and afterwards).

If you spend some time reading our forum and the blogs you will see that many people are reaching out for emotional support and help - and receiving it by the tonne from our wonderful community members.

What makes Wikivorce unique is that we have an all-inclusive membership – not just those facing divorce, but professionals and long-term contributors (whose input is hugely valued), family members affected by someone else’s divorce, and adult children of divorce, to name just a few. This provides balance and a wide range of personal experiences and ultimately better advice and support for our members.

Wikivorce is a leading example of social networking with a purpose - we don't just connect people - we empower people to pick themselves up, define their goals and rebuild new lives. Many, many members have forged long-lasting friendships with people they wouldn’t have met otherwise, enriching and enhancing each other’s’ lives. There have been “wiki-weddings” too – I think somewhere around 20 to 25 marriages as a result of people connecting through Wikivorce; proof, if ever needed, that life goes on and there is a future for us all after divorce.

Kazz,

For me and obviously I can only speak for me. I think my turning point came when I realised - its my life too. My emotions are caused by me, my fear, happiness, distress are mine - I create them in my own mind so therefore they are mine. Its how I am interpreting the world around me

Yep - we all get put into situations that we would prefer not to be in (one, two divorces, - who knows how many?), and we can deal with them logically as you say, finances and practicalities - on that one your ahead of the game girl!!!! You have already been through those moments. You have felt it and dealt with it. I was not as strong as you... I was bit like ice cream on a radiator - all over the place

For me and looking back on where I am now and was, it was the time (many weekends) about really looking deep at what - truly made me happy and want I wanted.

Three years ago (or whenever it was) my happiness was achieved by providing, to be provider of money, sorting out debt, cooking, dealing with all big issues etc etc - you name it I did it, I got it sorted. It was my role in life to provide

My perceived happiness was providing and dealing with those issues. I think I got an awful lot of self worth from doing those things. I also acknowledge all those that were involved and needed and accepted it - including my ex wife. But I don't think I ever truly knew what I wanted.

For me it took a fair while after the divorce to let go of my previous values of providing and I also looked deeply looking at what I want? Just me ... how can I - just me be happy and enjoy all things around me

We will come into this world with nothing and we will leave this world with nothing.... the bit in between is our Karma

So to your point - how do people deal with the emotional stuff - only we can deal with it, because we are in charge of that one

I hope this helped and sorry if it didn't - I rarely come onto the site anymore - not that I dont love them dearly .. but

All the very best and hope it all goes well

Keith xxx