Army pension

didojane wrote:

Hi jake [

I don't know why I am posting this as I myself am just about to be taken to the cleaners by another greedy stbx!

It was me dodging bullets, she just dodged the heating/credit card/loan repayment bills

I just want to say that that I am not a greedy s2bx and while my s2bx was dodging bullets and doing his job i too was dodging nappies vomit and keeping the home be it only a married quarter going paying the bills on time and generally doing my share of our joint responsibilities taking crap jobs with low pay no pension prospects to make up the poor wage he was receiving at the time wages were very low for the army at one point still are for the job they do .

Not to mention arranging childcare so I could work then school holidays had to be taken care of I really cant remember a time when my s2bx asked am i able to go to work to day hun cors you are working and i am too cant remember him organizing child care I can remember him getting up for work and just going on his merry way not a thought of child care arrangements come to mention it I cant remember him ever asking if it was ok for him to go away for six months at a time I also can never remember him ringing into work saying my children are sick I wont be able to come into day i do how ever remember me ringing into working saying just that .
And the constant moving which i hasten to add I did more than my share of the packing and cleaning very multitasking at the time job children and applying to schools doctors ect .
And then was the house repairs that occurred someone had to be there and that task always befallen on to report them and arrange a time and day for it to be done then there was the removal quotations he didt get time off for that i had to be there to arrange that to .
But i thought that was normal due to the fact i thought marriage was a joint venture and I was married to a solider and thought I was doing this all for our future not just his but i have been so disappointed and feel totally degraded and even with some remarks that I have seen written and heard from you and others on other web sites .

I do have to also say i enjoyed it I have have given three wonderful boys life .
In layman's terms because of the responsibilities we shared I was the one that enabled him to go bullet dodging if you really think about it but then again i suppose he could of placed the baby in his bergen and taken the kids with him and used them as drummer boys .
While i could have been greedy enough to go about my civilian life and disregarded the fact that I was married to a solider .

I wonder how the regiment would see that oh joy its really funny to think that may be I could have built up a whole pension of my own if I had asked him to be responsible for the family while all he wanted to do was build up a good career in the army.

It really works both ways we decided as a couple that his career will come first and as the pension was what you could call a perk like the other perks the soldiers get loa ect ect wast there once a married mans allowance when they were away also I remember my ex claiming air fares and tickets for me and my children and train tickets when we were on leave its surprising how many married men claimed that you no not mention the kinder geld payment on top of your family allowance that you could claim from the German government while in Germany and the cheap rent that the soldiers get to enable them to house their families which i hasten to add we lose as quick as we got the house due to the fact when a marriage break down we become surplus to requirement so quick were they to insist on taking the perks the army enabled them to have if they had children and a wife .

But not so quick to to take on responsibility for private housing for there families when they are made to move out there quarters no they wont pay that but insist the tax payer does as you need a good job to pay private rental but thats a claim but i suppose that is ok because its not claiming against there pension .
And then there is the fact that some times the ex wives have to rely on benefits I have never heard a solider complaining about that but god forbid the CSA get involved so there are claims and there are claims and there are certain claims they want there s2bx to make and others they dont

But god for bid we try to claim what was rightfully going to be shared any way .

It does make me laugh because it was a shared asset and as such it would have enabled us both to a better life the only difference now is that although its still going to be shared I will have my own half.
And as i said my s2bx thinks I am greedy but its really funny he doest see the kids and he doest want them to him self and surely they are his biggest asset but he doest see that as me being greedy for having them to my self but he does fight for the money now that really says so much for the hero the world thinks he is that says so much for the father he has become .
Behind every married solider there is a good married wife that enables him to carry out the tasks that the government set him long support the wives I am proud of my long contribution to the British army I contributed so much .

So please if any solider thinks that his wife husband ect are greedy please try to think of the contributions they made and then judge them on that please dont say you earnt it alone you didt .
I just want to say that i would rather of still been married than have my own share of the pension but my ex has other ideas.
I didt put my self in the position of wanting a share i just no that i would be silly to walk away with out it after all I deserve it just as much as him .
There is no price that could be put on a supporting loving wife and mother who contributed so much and deserves so much more respect and recognition than they get for the contribution and role they played in the successful career of the solider which enabled him to build up his pension.
If there was you would never get to keep any of your pension and you would work till you dropped and you just couldt afford it .
so lets just be fair.
It was jointly acquired but as a wife i could and would say that my role was hard and so much less recognized.
We all did a good job and we did it well soliders and wives alike lets not for get that

Sorry rant over .
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I agree and dont think that you will not get your share as it is a very simple calculation for the court to do at the AR hearing.
Not all ex's are greedy.....mine was though.

Phastasphuk

I was just having a rant hun and i do think its hard for any one let alone a solider to part with what they believe should be theirs and i wish sometimes that stbxs thought more about equality and less about what they believe is just theirs money so does not make you happy it turns so many people into hating there exs i wish sometimes there was no money nothing to claim then my ex wouldt hate me he has said he will never forgive me if i get some of his pension he has said that its his future and he wants a good life with his girlfriend the other woman well that is ok to think that i suppose .
But I still have a future too and I do not want to miss out on some thing that I have spent many years contributing to helping him to achieve his 22 years watching him build up a good career and forfeiting my own because I never thought that we would not be together I made sacrifices because i wanted to to but these sacrifices were for us both i didt make them soley for my self i did feel cheated as a while ago i did get the opportunity to forge a career for my self not a brilliant career but still it was an opportunity but he didt want me to stay as he was being posted declared his un dying love for me only to find out six weeks later he had met some one else .
I was very bitter and very hurt so now I have to do what is the right thing for me and if he wants to hate me and wants to call me greedy then that is ok too I no who i am and I also no that wahnt I am doing is the right thing for my self he may not like it but such is life sometimes I dont pictucly like what he has done but he chose to do it this pension may not make me happy money doest but I will have security and at the moment that is what I need and hopefully I will get a council flat and my future will be secure I didt marry him for his pension but we did have plans for it my plans havet changed the goal posts have just moved thats all and i really wish he could see it as easily as me.
But wheres theres money unfairness will be sen and that is so sad and i really didt think I was married to a man like that i would never of married a man that thought money was the be all and end all of every thing .
Money changes people and the thought of him not receiving all his pension has changed him so much I feel sorry for him but i cant change the way he thinks .x

I am with you all the way, i had no problems with the pension share at all, she deserved it no questions, I wish my ex could have seen things the way you do.
She just wanted all, and i mean all of the assets and leave me with all the debt, as she said "I will financially cripple you if i can" and i was the one that was thrown out.
I really hope you get what is rightfully yours, it seems we both have greedy ex's.
Good luck.

I've only just joined wiki and find this thread fascinating! Lots has been said about sharing the income - pension, gartuity/terminal grant - but what does the court say about debts. We are about to start the divorce route, we've been separated for a while, and there is big loans and credit card bills that we built up jointly. Do the debts get paid out of the grant...then the grant spilt, or do they all fall on the Serviceman?

Where is the applauding Emoticon when you need it..

Id just like to say Bravo! Bravo! Dido. You have said everything I would want to say and more.

I was with mine for 19 years from LCpl to Capt, I supported him wholeheartedly because I believed we were making a future for our children and ourselves. Less than a year after he received his commission I was surplus to requirement. The feeling of inadequency and that I am not good enough will stay with me for a long time. Plus all the other things he claimed, including believe it or not "that I supported him throughout his career, however I resented his move into the Officers Mess" which was part of his UB on the petition.

My husbands job was being a soldier. The rest was my responsibility. As well as raising two super kids and all that entails, working full time, moving, packing and cleaning, unpacking and cleaning (the majority of it everytime), finding employment each time. Child care arrangements. Running a home, all of it. Doing typing and proof reading for him! in the evenings and research on the web. And much more so much more.

All I want is what is fair, no more no less.

Marsa
xx

In general all the (marital) assets and all the debts are pooled
then split, This is very general as there are umpteen other things
taken into account, children and housing needs come high up.