Army pension

Phastasphuk wrote:

jakeblue68 your ressettlement grant doesn't get paid back
but whatever you commute does.

That is why it is called a grant, as it was explained to me less than 36 hours ago.

Dido, you sound very bitter, and so you should if he left you to go and dodge bullets, risking his life for Queen and country, defending this land so that people like yourself have the freedom to actually decide to work or not.

It was your choice to join him while he served, you knew and accepted the risks and probable outcome.
Please don't winge about how you are not supported by the MOD systems and policy, family is often held much higher than soldier.

Nothing is given on a plate, it's often hard work.

Please do not think your fella was away sunning himself on the back to back tours, nor was he given the option to take his kids with him to the conflict area.

I am not siding with him, he sounds like an arse TBH and paints a very bad picture of soldiers and commitment.
However, he wasnt a druggie, he didn't rob his neighbours and as a bonus he came back alive. I am sure there are much worse fellas out there LoL

Rant over

Post has been edited by TeamWiki the poster has been informed

OMG!!!!!!!
I can't believe where this post has gone!!!!! Please can we bring it back to pensions and gratuities?

jakeblues68 wrote:

Phastasphuk wrote:

jakeblue68 your ressettlement grant doesn't get paid back
but whatever you commute does.

That is why it is called a grant, as it was explained to me less than 36 hours ago.

Dido, you sound very bitter, and so you should if he left you to go and dodge bullets, risking his life for Queen and country, defending this land so that people like yourself have the freedom to actually decide to work or not.

It was your choice to join him while he served, you knew and accepted the risks and probable outcome.
Please don't winge about how you are not supported by the MOD systems and policy, family is often held much higher than soldier.

Did you not use your welfare system to good advantage?
Was it not a lack of education/skills on your part as to why you could not source a well paid job?
Don't blame the soldier or the military surroundings for your own shortcoming.

Nothing is given on a plate, it's often hard work.

Please do not think your fella was away sunning himself on the back to back tours, nor was he given the option to take his kids with him to the conflict area.

I am not siding with him, he sounds like an arse TBH and paints a very bad picture of soldiers and commitment.
However, he wasnt a druggie, he didn't rob his neighbours and as a bonus he came back alive. I am sure there are much worse fellas out there LoL

Rant over

Was that really necessary?

Personal attacks are not really supportive are they?

Perhaps if you read her posts again you would see that she never doubted that he was doing a good job fighting for his country, what she has a problem with is is his inability to be a good husband and father. Why should THEIR children and her suffer because he can't keep it in his pants?

This is a support forum, a place to air your personal views and be constructive, a place to recieve help. Not be attacked by someone you don't know making personal judgements.

If you could try to be a little more sensitive towards others feelings, it makes for a nicer place for all wiki members to visit.


Best wishes

Stunned and sad!

We are here to help and support each other. All I want is somewhere where exs and Stbxs of the military can get help and advice on the best way forward to secure a future for them and their children. And that is what I believed we were working towards.

((((((Dido)))))

Marsa
xx

I was merely expressing my views and experience, the same as Dido has.

It is a place for each opinion to be expressed, it's a forum, where debate happens. We will not all have the same views.
I should not have to curb my posts so as not to offend. This forum isn't a shoulder to cry on.

Sorry to sound a bit abrupt girs, i don't mean to offend.

Hi
All i was trying to do was point out how important it was for exs to see the pension was earned by both spouses solider and wife as a partnership ok i did mention a few other things but all were relevant to the pension sharing from a wives point of view in the contributions made by them

As Jake so kindly pointed out he could not take his children in to a conflict area which is totally understandable so i rest my case my job is done

That statement Jake so kindly made proves beyond doubt that i and others did our job as an army wife supporting our husband like many before us and many after us by taking care of the children ect to enable them to be able to go to areas of conflict thus entitling us to a share of our husbands pensions which should never be questioned and we should never have to justify to any one not even our s2bx .

And Jake if you read my post again sweetie you will realize i am not whinging just pointing out the very obvious that I helped earn the pension by contributing to it and explaining the ways in which i helped contrubute and supported my husband to enable him to build up a good carrer as a solider and the ways in which i helped and supported him to be a defender of our great country and also to defend others and also build up such a valuable pension.
Also i was trying to point out that during divorce this contribution is over looked by the pension holder and they dont always see the contribution made by the wife as equal as there own and By your own admittance you stated you were bullet dodging while she was dodging bills and credit card payments and it was that comment that inspired me to put this point across .
The MOD are right behind me and they are supporting me and others by allowing us to share the pension.
Did i ever say my ex was sunning himself on back to back tours where on earth did that come from it never crossed my mind to think that he would be doing that i always thought that he was far too busy for r and r while on duty but I was always thinking about him and wrote long letters to keep his spirits high and not to mention the parcels that i would send that would cheer him up while he was in the thick of it.
Not only that but by keeping things going at home be in in an army environment or a civilian one it meant that he was free of worries so he could just get on with the tasks that the government had set him little things like paying bills on time could seem a small task but can ease a lot of the bigger worries when you are sometimes thousands of miles from home living in some horrendous conditions so sometimes the little things we do really are what makes life and the job you do so much more easier ..

And yes i used the welfare system to my best advantage when is was appropriate to do so but we had support from other wives we had a net work which when it worked it worked well we helped each other we were one for all all for one in the the thick of it we relied on our neighbors friends and community we were all in the same boat and we gave each other strength and support when it was needed so that too was another contribution to the regiments it freed up resources which enabled the welfare staff to concentrate on more important issues you dont often see that in civilian life not the same way you do in an army community .
But as an army wife we generally got on with it never questioned our role never needed to until now and only now because all of a sudden my contribution seems not to count and i talk not only for my self but for a lot of other army wives in my position

And yes i am educated but with having children it was not always possible to find a job that fitted around them childcare was always a problem and more often than not the areas you were posted to had limited jobs to work especially when i was living in northern Ireland and in Germany .
Often moving every two years this was a huge problem so in my case I took jobs mainly on the camps them selves and theses were limited to poorly paid cleaning jobs but fitted around the children and also fitted in nicely with the childcare that i could arrange which was normally a friend as living in a army community there are not always many registered childminders and never enough crèche facilities.

.And no i was not blaming the solider or my military surrounding for my short coming because i didt realize i had any short comings.
And yes i married a solider its a double ended coin he actually married a civilian.

But this is neither here nor there we were married end of and i accepted his job same as he excepted that I was working too same as he we still had children even though he was a solider and he accepted that by having children he would have parental responsibility or is that only what cilvians have

I also accepted that as soon as we split up i would have a share of the pension attached to that job end of .

And being the civilian and not the solider and to think that i have accepted it when so many soldiers cant makes you wonder really what are soldiers made of they may be able to fire a gun and win wars and enable me to have the freedom that i have but when it boils down to a basic share of a pension they cant see the birds from the trees every thing gets muddled in there head and then the greedy accusations get give out and then the comments it was me dodging bullets while she was dodging bills

All that bullet dodging must really make them forget the contributions made by the wife somehow they can only rember there own contributions there own job and nothing else
.
And that was the whole point of my rant dont ever underestimate the Job well done from the army wives we are proud and continue to be proud of our contribution to the British army how ever insignificant it may seem to the bullet dodgers them selves .And we too are proud of the soldiers past and present and to the regiments that we supported with out question lets not for get that too xx

Just as blame doesn't come into the financial calculations (eg it doesn't matter who left who or if one spouse had an affair), it doesn't matter who was dodging bullets or who was at home looking after the kids. My understanding is that marriage is seen as an equal partnership in the eyes of the law. Am I wrong about this? Dido can you tell us what is happening in practical terms as regards pension split for you? Sorry if you have already said this but this thread has become a long and winding road!

Servicemen please don't be put off posting as it very valuable for all of us to hear what has actually happened in instances of pension sharing etc, rather than just speculating.

Another thing I'd like to ask is how much pension can be commuted and does getting divorced affect the serviceman's entitledment to commute?