I've ruined my life

That's what you get Lsot for 'BLOWING YOUR OWN TRUMPET'!!!

Zara....it's still WAY too early for jokes!

Nice one though!

Lsot1

Just spent that last hour or so reading through this thread, meant to be going about but I have been riveted. I have to say how it has helped me to see how even the worst possible situations, such as yours and others, can lead to positive outcomes, and what a wonderful bunch of peeps Wiki has.

There are so many truths and realities in the thread it ought to be published.

I wish you the best of good luck for your future life and hope that you will keep posting.

All the very best

LV

Wow, thanks for reading it all LV! You are my new hero

I intend to keep posting on here as much as time will allow, there are still many people on here that I have made friends with and my story is far from over yet.

This site is invaluable in that it allows you to vent in a safe place where the usual repsonse is sympathy. There's also a lot of good advice given out.

I wish you all the best too.

Take Care

Hey lsot.,

In that your journey is far from over...it is far from sympathy that I have for u, in that I have none for you...I have empathy by the barrel load...but hey ...
to my smokin budy...I wish you well

Elle x

Trust me to get my mucking words fuddled....I actually MEANT empathy.

Ta flower, for pointing out my lack of typing skillz

The saga continues.....

Went over to see my MIL on Sunday. First thing I got told when I walked in was that she had fallen out with me in a big way. I hadn't been in touch, I was selfish, I had not even enquired about her. My W had been marvellous and very helpful and what was all this about someone else in my life?. That is only the tip of the iceberg of insults she threw at me...This is all due to the fact that W had not told me anything and MIL didn't asnwer phone.

Needless to say I was a little taken aback. I had 2 choices, tell her that I wasn't putting up with that and leave, or explain my side. I decided that I would stay. Main reason being is that here was a woman that had been basically told to go home and die, and I was someone close to her and the anger was partly her feelings about me and partly about herself.

I explained that I had only found out the truth about her the week before and had actually tried to ring but there was no answer. I explained that I had moved on and that W had actually told me to "find someone to love me as she couldn't". I also explained that I was upset and felt bad that I had been kept in the dark about her. MIL told me that W NEVER calls me names or bad mouths me. Well maybe not directly, but surely moaning about my life as it is now isn't painting a pretty picture of me!! MIL also confirmed to me that W did NOT leave me for another man, she was SURE of that. There may be one now,(bit of a slip of the tongue by her there) but it's not the same one. I know for certain that if there is one now, it's the same one, but refuse to tell MIL that as it would upset her too much) As I said in an earlier post. MIL does NOT need to know what's going on. She just needs lave and care.

I was there for about 20 mins total and before I left, I asked for a hug. She agreed and then apologised for being nasty to me. I told her that I appreciated her telling me how she felt and that I wouldn't have it any other way. Also that anything between W and I would not be of concern to her as she had enough to deal with. I told her I would keep in touch and have always loved her.

I left on good terms and will be calling back soon.

Poor MIL having a daughter trying to play the victim card for her own reasons instead of thinking about MIL's feelings. (it would seem that W is trying to make herslf appear the hard done to and good one in all the mess she created)

Well bit of a shocker at first, but I feel for MIL in a big way. She has had enough now and just wants to go. I will do as I said and try to leave her mind at peace as much as possible.

The above has really served to confirm to me that W is still in very selfish mode, is not the person I was happily married to for so many years and that I am better off away from her.

I have spoken to both my sons since and they both feel worried about everyone. I have told them both to do what feels right in their heart for their Mum and Grandma and that I will be there for everyone (except W, emotionally) if they need me.

My next actions are to keep in touch with MIL and visit W to tell her to back off from her mum. She just can't see the havoc she is still wreaking..stupid woman.