This guide discusses how to keep child handovers amicable.
- It is best to meet in a mutual environment such as a café, school, supermarket car park, somewhere public and easy for the both of you to get to. Your ex doesn’t need to know where you live if you don’t want them to so decide on a drop off point that is suitable for both of you, drop offs at a public place lessen the chance of an argument and therefore will be easier on your child. If there is some distance between you and your ex, try to agree to meet half way so that you both have less of a trip to make, or you can agree on one person making the trip to drop the children off and then the other making the trip to pick them up, you need to make sure you share the responsibility fairly.
- If your divorce is on-going, try not to discuss anything to do with your separation (unless is it about the children) at these handovers to make them as stress free and as fair on the children as possible. Keep communication simply about the children and things like school, clubs etc. If communication is difficult then you can write a list of any updates about the children such as they have a birthday party or clubs after school.
- If your ex is likely to be abusive towards you, try to record it so if the behaviour continues you can use it as evidence if you need to.
- If you want things to be more formal you can make a parenting plan, so that each parent knows what is expected of them during the time the have the children, your parenting plan can also include details about handovers and where you will meet. Parenting plans are not legally binding so they can be changed if needed but they can be very useful to help each parent understand what is expected of them and when they will have their children. Parenting plans can make things less stressful on the children and yourself as everyone can get in to a routine.
Click here to read Wikivorce’s parenting plan template.
