Social Networking Sites and Teenagers

I think you need to separate out the things that it is important to worry about and the things that it is not.

The really big issues are internet and personal safety. You do need to make sure that your children understand that they should not put their address or phone number on a public site. They also need to be generally sensible enough not to agree to meet anyone in person that they have met on a social networking site.

As Tinny says, cyberbullying is also an issue, but this happens at least as often through mobile phone messaging and msn as through things like Facebook and Bebo. I think that mobile phone bullying is much more insidious, actually, as it's harder to get away from.

In my experience, however, other than that things are generally OK. The research in this area (as well as my own experience) suggests that most teenagers are just using this site as an alternative way of contacting their friends, usually the ones they have spent all day at school with. They give themselves provocative names, but that is just part of the social scene and doesn't usually go beyond the immediate group. Occasionally they network with people beyond the group they know in the real world but then it is usually friends of friends so known to that extent. Similar things happen with MSN

The other side of the coin is the benefits of social networking. My thirteen year old uses facebook to remain in contact with:
his elder sister at university
his uncle and cousin who don't live in this country
girls from his primary school who now go to the girls' secondary school
friends who don't live nearby.
friends from the youth club
These are all connections that I think are worthwhile, especially those with his uncle and cousin, whom he wouldn't see otherwise.

Actually, when my son joined Facebook he was so keen on it that he insisted I did so also. This has resulted in my being back in touch with someone I knew from university, so there are benefits for us oldies too. If you join and your child makes you a Facebook friend then you can keep an eye on what is going on on their site and who their friends are, which does make things a bit easier.

Sadie

Ladies,
Thank you for your replies - you all make very good points.

My kids did a majot move four years ago and MSN and Bebo has been invaluable for them to maintain contact with friends from their previous lives and family flung to the four corners of the universe.

I can see, now it has been pointed out to me, that there is an element of devilment and oneupmanship in your homepage contents - peer alignment.

I think a 'fatherly' chat about the content, or a surprise request to see her page might spark the appropriate reaction.

I do like the idea of creating a Bebo ID and keeping an eye from the inside so to speak.

Thanks again ladies. Appreciated

Mike

Hi Mike.
I have been obsessed by computers since the mid eighties and have been active on the internet from 1997.
Seeing the HUGE potential of the technology and the internet, my children were put in front of a PC at the earliest age possible. it started with games and MS Paint and then the internet.
As soon as they were exposed to the internet I had the same dilemma that you face, because there are real dangers for them and the security of your home network. The majority of viruses get into home networks via the kids, this why MSN is hacked to death.
My solution will probably offend some, but up until the age of 14 the childrens computers were running screen capture software. This takes a picture every few secs and stores it for later review. I also made the kids aware that I knew everything that they did and they had to behave sensibly and they did.
At 14 my eldest had to cope with the divorce and at that point I stopped monitoring his internet activity apart from the cursory look at his web history, but he was always a sensible lad.
The software came from a business colleague who using it to monitor his staff.
Other than the obvious risks to the children, the main dangers that parents face are the trojan viruses that FREQUENTLY use MSN and the file downloads from Limewire or bit torrent.
Monitor your data transfer levels, a smart kid can quite easily hide torrent software and the subsequent downloads from mum and dad, but he cant hide the bandwidth usage. USE A GOOD VIRUS FIREWALL and Norton and McAffee are not good.