How do we tell our 5 year old son?

Haywood wrote:

Hi Everyone

Thanks so much for that advice you have been really helpful and I will also buy that book called Goodbye Daddy, I did see it on amazon but felt so sorry at the title I didn't get it.

I'm sure I'll be back on here when we have spoken to him about it pestering you all about reactions and stuff.

Thanks

Fluffy, I have to agree with you, the title is appalling. It sounds more like it would be suitable for the death of a dad!!!! Is the title really meant to make a 5 year old feel more secure!!!! 'Goodbye Daddy'
I am not surprised you skipped over it, I think I would have done the same.

Or is it for when Daddy has REALLY gone from their lives??
and will never see them again?

eek

zara

I told my daughter when she was age 3. And I told her a child approriate version of the truth.
I remember using words like grown ups sometimes stop loving each other but never stop loving their children no matter what. I explained that dad still loved her, and that I loved her more than I could ever explain but that mum/dad didn't love each other anymore for lots of reasons that one day she would maybe understand.
From her experience of dad and what she had been exposed to in the immediate time leading up to being told she understood. Since then she has seen more (without me around) of similar behaviour from dad and is now forming her own quite strong views (and likely an understanding from what I can gather - though it comes in bits over time from her).
Give your love, your honesty and allow that back, dealing with questions age appropriately (and they understand more from what they have seen than you give credit for) and all will be well. Time will help the understanding.

Just to mention that the 'Goodbye Daddy' book that I had been recommended we have now got and, whilst it made me quite sad, it is a perfect book for a small child to help them understand about a parent no longer living with them.

The title of-course doesn't refer to death but to the fact that a child says 'goodbye' everytime they leave... young children tend to look at life in a very simple way and rarely add the complex adult interpretations that we don't even notice we are doing.

They always say ' don't judge a book by its cover!'