Urgent legal advice needed

Hi,
I have today received a letter from my wife''s solicitor advising me they have received an instruction from her to issue proceedings for Divorce and an application to the court to resolve issues of finance and property. This is in view of my position that I would not contemplate any order in relation to pensions and that they will seeking an order to the effect that I will be responsible for their clients costs of the applications. The papers will be served on me direct from the court.

At no stage have I refused to consider a pension sharing. I had advised that my wife and I had decided to split and that divorce proceedings would take place after a 2 year separation. I have provided financial disclosure and even took a re-mortgage in my sole name so she could be paid the £60k settlement from the house that she asked for. She allowed the mortgage offer to expire and due to increased debt I then failed the credit check when a new application was made. I have therefore suggested that matters are concluded in 3-4 years when the marital debt is cleared. She is refusing to pay a penny towards the mortgage and associated joint liabilities.
In the last letter received from her solicitor, they had stated that divorce proceedings should now take place on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour on my side. I did not agree to this as it is simply not true although I have agreed that divorce is now the way forward but not under those circumstances.

I am representing myself as cannot afford solicitors fees as already have in excess of £6k on a credit card and with little progress.

I am still in the matrimonial home and paying the mortgage, insurance, mortgage protection and all associated bills.

We are yet to have a building certificate issued as there is still work to be done internally for it to meet the criteria. The council came out to do an assessment and has issued a report which I have sent to her solicitor. This highlights the key areas that need to be focused on, namely the fireproof plaster board on the garage ceiling and side extension as there are bedrooms above and a fire door needs to be installed from the house into the fire.

Her solicitor is now stating that they have advised their client that custody arrangements at the property should now be suspended until this work is completed as it poses a danger to the childrens welfare. He is saying that this is a result of MY failure to take appropriate steps in completing the work - IT IS ALSO HER HOUSE AND SHE WAS HERE FOR 3 YEARS WITH THE KIDS AFTER THE EXTENSION WAS BUILT!!!

I cannot afford to have any of the work done as I have very little disposable income every month as paying off all of the debts. As I have not agreed to a divorce, how can you take proceedings to divorce me? There has never been domestic violence against her and I am not sure of what the process is if I don''t agree.

If I have to provide the court with financial disclosure, this will show that I am broke. I am consumed with debt from the marriage, have a huge debt on a credit card, my bank accounts are overdrawn. I can also demonstrate that there was a settlement offer on the table and she refused to accept it and then decided to accept after I lost the mortgage. They know that I cannot get another mortgage, they also know the property cannot be sold until a building certificate is issued. Even if a cash buyer came along, it would not doubt be sold for less than market value.

I need some help guys. I am dealing with unknown territory and not sure on next steps

pretty hefty post, and not sure what specific questions you''re asking.

But on costs, usually each side pays their own so don''t get intimated/bullied by the other parties solicitor.

It sounds like the other party is putting a court timetable in place for a First Appointment which will require financial disclosure. This is normal stuff if you cannot do this by any other means outside of court. So don''t let this freak you out.

cheers and sorry, just needed to get on here everything that has happened. Bit of a long winded summary I know.

I am just a bit lost in the process. If I am not consenting a divorce as we have only been separated 4 months, How can she proceed with divorce proceedings through a court and to resolve finance and property?

She wants money out of the house and also 50% of my pension benefit but I thought that sorting out other assets such as pension etc was part of a divorce hearing with financial disclosure

Your ex can initiate divorce proceedings without your agreement if grounds of unreasonable behaviour are used. Financial proceedings can also be initiated and the court will set a timetable. My understanding is that a mediation assessment has to be considered in most circumstances before court proceedings on finance. There are some situations where this is not appropriate.

I have asked on two occasions for my ex to consider mediation and her solicitor has declined this.

Do you know what situations would be considered for mediation not to be required?

I have never acted unreasonable - she asked for money from the house and I put the deal on the table to the amount she wanted and she refused to sign the paperwork.

I have paid maintenance to the children since day one of her leaving the property. I have also continued to pay the mortgage and the loans each month.

She says I am reckless, ruthless and controlling with household finances and forced her to spend her meagre income on grocery shopping. That is all she had to pay for each week and I paid everything else. With her income and child benefit she had £750 a month and the grocery bill was circa £100 a week. She has now confirmed in her financial disclosure that she is debt to her mother by £16k since she moved out in June. Surely that is considered as reckless and ruthless with finances to be in so much debt in such a short space of time.
She has money in a savings account and has a rolling balance of £1k in her everyday account.

I, sadly, have absolutely nothing and my parents are sometimes having to help me out with grocery shopping

Firstly the divorce application and the financial proceedings are separate. The divorce application made on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour doesn''t require your consent. Defending an application is usually not advised as the end result is likely to be that the divorce is granted.

With regards to the requirements for mediation in respect of financial matters I would suggest that my knowledge is limited and other wikis may be able to advise.

The debt to her parents would be considered a soft loan probably (she won''t have to repay it). She would be expected to maximise her income through work and benefits but running up legal bills is in neither parties interest.

As hard as it seems why are you defending UB? Leaving the top off a toothpaste tube has been cited as UB its a pointless excersize