Porn site visits, flirting online - unreasonable?

Hi Wasp

In my case, my solicitor said to me, the sex site issue is more than enough to say "unreasonable behavior".but it is English&Wales Law. I don't know about Scotish Law..sorry.

Here, lots of people share your experience and feeling to make you feel ease to cope with the situation.Please take care of yourself.

moca x

No, we are not in Scotland anymore. IN fact, we are not even in UK. WE are curently in UAE.
Does it mean that we do not have to stick to Scottish Law?
Does it matter if my husband is Scottish, and our sons were born in Scotland?

moca wrote:

Hi Wasp

IIn my case, my solicitor said to me, the sex site issue is more than enough to say "unreasonable behavior".but it is English&Wales Law. I don't know about Scotish Law..sorry.

Here, lots of people share your experience and feeling to make you feel ease to cope with the situation.Please take care of yourself.

moca x

It so helps knowing I am not alone there! Sorry for opening an unpleasant conversation for you, but I just wonder if visiting porn sites regularly is enough to say "unreasonable behavior" or do I need the evidence that he used the sites more actively. I know he is using free sites ( at least this is what I am told), so there is no proof that he is "using" them (i.e. no payments)

If the fact that he visits these site regularly upsets you, this is enough. They have to be reasons why YOU can't live with him any longer. Your solicitor might phrase it, 'X regularly visits pornographic web sites, which makes me feel uncomfortable and lowers my self esteem'.

Hi Wasp

I can imagin..you must be so shocked when you found out his profile on the site...
But these people are "sick"...even if he said "It is just curiosity" or so on... No, he repeats again.
It hurt to know... but it makes you feel clear..to say good-bye to him.

You don't need "payment proof" as evidence, I think.
To explain to your solicitor, if you can show his profile (print out from the site), it is more than enough.
My husband is "GOLD MEMEMBER" at the site, he has been paying to the site to get more advantage to get more "tarts" ...plus the activitied he has "enjoyed" as "expert" (according to his profile..) I had never ever known ..it means, he tried and enjoyed with someone else, not with me.(I am not interested in any of his kinky ativities though..)
Anyway it doesn't matter if it is Free site or not. The main thing is, as Ephelia said, you feel uncomfortable and you are upset, it is enough.

moca x

I really hoped I will not need to drag all this porn stuff into divorce, andhoped that we can just separate on amicable terms. But he thinks that he can change his opinion and attitude as he please. yesterday I tried to talk to him about filling in the Separation Agreement, but this is whatdid I got in return:

- I am too upset to talk about it
- I don;t want to talk about it now, etc, etc.

I keep asking him to think about what we will put in the agreement with regard to children, but he says he will do it in his own time.

So, he is ignoring my requests to progress with it, despite shouting erlier - "give me anything, I will sign it". He even suggested having informal agreement. I would go for it just to speed things up, but worried that I will never see any maintenance money. I moved out for few months in the past with one of the children, and did not get a single penny. Bearing that in mind, I woud like something formal. And living like that is hell, kids are suffering, we have arguments, I cry, can't sleep, etc.

If he is reluctant about separation agreement, can I petition for divorce or petition for Separation?

moca wrote:

Hi Wasp

I really feel for you... my husband is the same. He has joined sex site 3 years to seek someone for kinky sex ( He have never ever tried anything for me. So I was so shocked when I found out the site and what he was doing behind me).
I didn't know at all his secret life at all.
and also flirting his office girls all the time.And they didn't care to mess around our marriage.
In my case, my solicitor said to me, the sex site issue is more than enough to say "unreasonable behavior".but it is English&Wales Law. I don't know about Scotish Law..sorry.

Here, lots of people share your experience and feeling to make you feel ease to cope with the situation.Please take care of yourself.

moca x

Hi,I think the biggest cause is that we tend to look outside ourselves for the source of our happiness. We get married thinking that will make us happy, and when it doesn't (as inevitably is the case!), we think the marriage is the CAUSE of our unhappiness. Relationships are hard, even when both people are healthy and stable. To add on the expectation that a relationship should make you whole is just too much. It's also upside down: you should bring your wholeness TO the relationship, not expect to get it FROM the relationship. That's what allows love to spin into a positive-feedback loop, rather than a downward spiral of unfulfilled expectations.

Post edited by Teamwiki poster advised