Taking the children to meet the new partner.

At long last some recognition....

Sexysadie, I am one of those new partners that try and smooth things out. Madaboutcars can get very wound up by his x2b, and its always down to me to get him to see reason and to try and sort things amicably before he starts arguing with her, especially when she is being extra nasty about him seeing his daughter.

A well deserved thumbs up there sexysadie.

my wife walked out to live with her new partner about 8 months ago leaving our 10 year old son with me. our son has said he does not want to meet her new partner and made it a condition of his contact with her that that their did not mee. she blames this on me and will not admit its her fault by saying things in front of our son about her new partner having a drink problem and using drugs aswell as saying that he was coming to sort me, also when she is on the phone to our son the new bloke is shouting abuse about me in the background, so little wonder our son does not want to meet him, as he has always been closer to me then his mum. our son has said if he is made to see the new bloke then he will never go out anywhere with his mum again.

My ex introduced his bit to our kids a month after we split.Were'nt too happy it was so soon given he was not having much contact.I let them meet her again couple more occasion's but my kids made up there mind about her the feeling is mutual she don't like my kids either and has resorted to calling them names (among other things) so nope she is not coming anywhere near my kids but i did give it a try i would of been happy if my kids were happy going to see her, shame a grown up woman has to be so jealous of kids , that dad no longer see's them either as he says his g/f comes first children can look for him when there 18 not bleeding likely.

It's a real pity that some new partners make things so difficult. I'm not surprised that Angel's and Mark's kids don't want to see them. It's the new partners' loss, though, and the non-resident parent's.

It's also really hard for children to feel that their parent puts the new partner first. Responsible parents and new partners can avoid this, as tjayne is clearly trying to do, but others are just insensitive.

As I said before, new partners can have good relationships with the children. You just have to work hard on it and be forbearing when they get upset that their parent is with you and not with them and their other parent. I was a new partner once, many years ago, though we didn't get together until after their split. Now we are ourselves divorcing I have stayed close to my stepchildren.

Sadie

i wrote on this post a bit ago about my son making it a condition of his contact with his mum that he did not meet her new partner, which she agreed with at the time, but on the latest day out with her she set it up for our son to meet her new partner even through he has consistantly said he does not wish to, now he his refusing to go out with her and she is blaming me and her solicitor is threatening action against me if i do not make him go with her and this at a time when we have just started mediation to try to sort everything out, just wondering if anyone knows what sort of action she may be considering.

markp,

She will be considering applying to court for a contact order which will require you to allow your child to visit her. In the first instance the court is likely to try and broker a deal, but if this doesn't work the judge may ask for a report to be carried out by the organisation that advises courts on child related matters. They will talk to both parents and your son whose wishes have to be taken into account according to his age and understanding.

i have no trouble with him having contact with her and our son was going out with her but he made it clear he did not wish to meet her new partner and she promised him she would make sure there would be no contact with the new partner, then she made the contact happen while their were out and our son had no way to avoid it so now he says he will not go out with her incase she does the same again, if she wants to see him he wants a relative there to stop her setting him up again, also going to court for a contact order would be a waste of money as he has had contact with a solicitor from nyas and she has told him that even if the court gives a contact order he can refuse to abide by it as the court can do nothing to him apart from talking to him and trying to convince him to go along with it, and both her and her solictor know this as he told them that was why she give in to the conditions he set on contact in the first place, and why i can not understand why she has decided to go against them now as we start mediation, also i tried to get her to understand that she needed to give him time as he blames this bloke for taking his mum off him and she makes it clear this bloke is more important to her then he is.