should he go bankrupt before or after?

Ephelia,

Absotively posilutely last post on this thread. To answer your question I'm not suggesting anyone is unwelcome here and I don' think our views necessarily vary that much. I am aware of failings within the system in England & Wales (Scotland too, albeit different failings) as are those who have to deal with it on a day to day basis. I'm sure Will, a solicitor who posts sometimes, has said as much somewhere on the forum. See some others below. Nonetheless, experience shows that working with the system and dealing with practical matters separately from emotional ones results in better outcomes.

Counselling is actually found to be ineffective for people suffering mental health problems in many cases and if I thought your mental health was other than fine I wouldn't be suggesting it. However, counselling is particularly effective at helping people come to terms with some of the dynamics involved in relationships or relationship breakdown. On divorce people often become angry because they jump to conclusions about others and assume the worst about other people's motives and behaviour. Supporting that view isn't useful. Helping instead to identify the problems and come up with solutions enables them to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, relax and feel more in control .

Venting was raised by someone else, I wasn't having a go at you. My point is there are disadvantages to emotional sharing of which people need to be aware. Apart from the potential of upsetting somebody else, venting can ratchet up a sense of grievance that encourages people to adopt negative and unproductive strategies such as scapegoating.

Lord Justice Thorpe on reforming MCA1973
www.familylawweek.co.uk/library.asp?i=3466

John Bolch, Family Lawyer
www.familylore.co.uk/2007/01/formula-for-certainty.html
www.familylore.co.uk/2006/10/law-for-mr-and-mrs-bloggs.html

Me
divorcesurvivor-fiona.blogspot.com/2008/01/wish-list.html