should he go bankrupt before or after?

I feel your partner's pain. My soon 2bx would like half the house (which is remortgaged to 95% of it's value). So there is only about 8,000 left to give him. He wants to live the lifestyle he choose while we were married and I could not afford it then. He ran up debt to an unbelievable amount. However, the courts are siding with him because I am in school to earn my PhD and I already have two Masters. So my potential income would be able to contribute to the lifestyle that he wants. He wants half of my retirement fund. Never mind it was me who worked two jobs, went to school and took care of the kids while he has a part time job and a highschool education. I have no idea why the courts feel your partner and I need to pay through the nose to support these x's in the lifestyle they feel they deserve. I am tapping into my trust fund just to make ends meet because all of my income goes to bills that my husband refuses to pay, child support and maintenance. If I did not have my trust fund--I would definately be filing for bankrupcy. I have had a few friends who had to file for bankrupcy for one reason or another and they were able to get back on their feet in relatively short period of time. They even were able to purchase homes because the banks knew they could not refile for 10 yrs. So they were a pretty safe bet to extend credit again.

Tess

See, this just makes me mad!!

How can your x be entitled to money that you have had to work bloody hard for?

How can people be so greedy. It's almost the same position that we're in. I just can't get over how somebody can decide to end a marriage (obviously it's not a simple choice but in our case it's a choice nonetheless) and expect the partner that THEY apparently chose to leave (read "throw out") to support them for the rest of their life and lose out on everything that they have always worked for honestly while they sat on their backside sponging off the benefits that we so kindly contribute towards!

I know exactly how you feel. I'm the reason that she's going after this money from him as I'm a qualified professional with a degree and she see's my potential earnings and can't bear the thought of me n my partner making a go of things and being successful!

grrrrrr lol as u can see, I'm quite passionate about this... although I must admit it's refreshing to see that it isn't just women that pull these ridiculous stunts. Was begining to feel ashamed of my sex. Now I see that men can be just as manipulative and money-grabbing!

I hope you can sort this out for yourself and stop him affecting your future, why aren't there laws agains these things??

x

i am 1 of those people waiting for my ex is give me and the children a little something , and why should'nt he i gave up any career to bring up 2 kids 1 being disabled whilst his career florsihed , if i was'nt there he would of had to pay for a nanny, cook, cleaner , decorater , gardener ,taxi, nurse and the list goes on.I worked bloody hard bringing them kids up 24 hours a day 7 days a week at times, he never give me a penny i had to use the child benefit so yes it's only fair for me to now be paid what i'm owed and i think really it would be over the 200k mark.

I think you've misread this post!

My partner IS giving his X2b money for the children. Plus he always does any work in the house she needs. Plus he gives extra anytime they need anything like clothes, money for clubs and trips!!

She is not only getting what she is entitled to but more! Why on top of this she should expect £200 p/week AND a £50K lump sum when she lives rent free, receives every benefit under the sun and her only outgoings are her utilities is beyond me.

She earns more each month through her benefits and the maintenance than my partner does by over £300 so forgive me if i'm not sympathetic to her claim.

I know all cases are not the same, hopefully you realise that too. We help out and give all that we are required too and MORE but that's never enough!

minx wrote:

See, this just makes me mad!!

How can your x be entitled to money that you have had to work bloody hard for?

How can people be so greedy. It's almost the same position that we're in. I just can't get over how somebody can decide to end a marriage (obviously it's not a simple choice but in our case it's a choice nonetheless) and expect the partner that THEY apparently chose to leave (read "throw out") to support them for the rest of their life and lose out on everything that they have always worked for honestly while they sat on their backside sponging off the benefits that we so kindly contribute towards!



I hope you can sort this out for yourself and stop him affecting your future, why aren't there laws agains these things??

Apologies if you think i misread your post but i'm going on the above factors you said.
x

quoting my post only proves what i said.....


I just can't get over how somebody can decide to end a marriage (obviously it's not a simple choice but in our case it's a choice nonetheless)


I clearly said that i was talking about OUR situation. Yes, if you indeed chose to give up your career to care for the kids then i'm not disputing anything that YOU are claiming.

What I dispute is when a woman (or man) NEVER worked (even before she and my parnter met) and is claiming money, not for the children but for 'sposual maintenance' when she receives MORE than my partner does each month already. What rights does she have to try to claim £50k as a lump sum and a weekly amount of £200 on top??

She has

*rent free accomodation
*Council tax benefits (which includes no water bills here)
*tax credits
*family allowance
*food and milk tokens
*free school dinners
*free bus pass
*free school uniforms
*maintenance from my partner for the children
*help from both of us with decorating, education and managing the children's behaviour


Tell me what this £50,000 is so desperately needed for? What will the £200 p/week also pay for? She doesnt drive so doesnt have travel costs. The kids are more than adequately provided for (by us). All that is left is electricity bills.... oh and the sky TV and the flat screen plasma she's promised the kids for the living room when her (more wealthy than us) partner moves is... but this won't happen until the courts have decided on the money as she doesnt want his large income to spoil her chances!!!

she has no debts as we've taken all of the marital debts

She's getting half of his company AND state pension.... is there anything else we should give her?? our blood perhaps???


Tell me Why we should pay her this money??? we want to see the kids more but she alone is standing in the way of that and has even told the CSA it's to maximise her income!!!

I'm not judging your case, it sounds like you gave up a lot and therefore are entitled to a lot.

But please think about how different the cases are...what did she give up?? nothing. what has she ever contributed to the family? nothing. So why should she be entitled to anything... pure greed.

oh and sorry, i know i'm ranting... just that we obviously have different cases and i'm afraid that we're gonna be taken to the cleaners out of her just wanting more and more.

x