Hi - urgently need advice

You've made the situation worse. You'll have to deal with the consequences now. Being bitter isn't a just cause for meddling with your childrens lives and one day they may realise that too

Meddling with my children's lives? What, the happy, secure, family orientated lives they were living until this woman came along and tore the heart out of it all?

I’ve gone from being a doting father and happy husband, to driving around in tears, wondering how much longer I can go on. Please don’t judge me for what I’ve done!

as brutal as it sounds, "happy, secure, families" don't get broken up easily.

Taking out your anger and expecting everyone else to take your side and view is just going to cause you all more issues. Focus on sorting yourself out and speak to a counsellor or a doctor to help you take back control of your life before you make anymore more rash decisions.

Kids are more resilient than you think, but if you build them up into a drama then they will be the ones more affected by it than if you all try and get back to as much a normal life as possible. It's a long process and it's obviously raw now but it isn't going to be healthy for you or them

Yeah that was pretty brutal to be fair! Just bought a new home, set up a new business with my wife, promotion on the cards at work, kids doing well at school. Sounds like we were fighting in the trenches that. What more can a bloke do...

It's done now, you can't go back in time and undo your conversation with the school.

The focus going forwards needs to be on your children and your own well-being. Maybe have a chat with your GP, have a chat with a Relate counselor, make sure you are eating and sleeping the best you can, get out for a walk in the fresh air, be strong for your children and keep thier routine as much as possible.

I understand you are hurting, angry and therefore lashing out - we've all been there. Sometimes it's worth recognising which battles are worth fighting, and which ones are best left well alone. If you are unsure about taking a particular action, sleep on it, seek counsel from others (ie on here), and then sleep on it again.

You might not believe this, but you won't feel like this for ever. Gradually, life will become more bearable, and you will get through this; and so will your children. Hang in there.

Sorry if I’ve come across the wrong way. I really do appreciate all your advice on here! Need to sort myself out and get on with it. Like you said - maybe I made a mistake this morning but that’s done now. Can’t go back and change it.

No need to apologise, it is appreciated though

Keep posting on here, whether that's to ask a question or just to vent your frustration at the situation.