Is there a point when enough is enough?

Hi - new here so please bear with me.

Am in the middle of acrimonious split from xw2b (v.much her not me, although I'd quite happily never set eyes on her cheating lying face ever again) and have been on the backfoot ever since this whole nightmare started.
As she qualifies for legal aid she quite happily either takes me to court or sends letters for anything her and her solicitor dream up knowing that I have very little money to pay for sols bills (I will need to self rep pretty shortly which fills me with dread).
As she is a fully qualified professional capable of easily earning 30-40Kpa but chooses not to, using our children (who are at school FT) as an excuse, I cannot understand how she can keep digging into the LA pot like a baby in a sweet shop.

Is there a point when the blatant use of LA to try and take away everything I have in this world (my beautiful children, my reputation, all our finances and sometimes I think even my sanity) gets stopped?
Or am I still just a naive and gullible fool who thought being honest, decent and concentrating on protecting my children through this living hell would mean truth and justice would eventually win out?

Coyi

Am going / have been through similar. I believe there is a process whereby, if you can prove that some-one has wilfully written many, trivial letters, through their sol, to bancrupt you, you can take them to court to reimburse your sol's fees.
Others on here will be more qualified to answer and provide you with details, and I'm sure they will.
Regards,
Techy.

hi same happening to me, my ex is cohabiting and she will only be happy when she takes my last penny she is the biggest liar ive ever met, my mam told me to employ a private detective and i just laughed and told her she watched too much tv but now 18months on i wish i had done what she said, all my money going to sol, king regards to all of you in same boat, dave:woohoo:

Its a nice idea techy but it sounds to me like I can take her to court at an expense I cannot afford, which may or may not result in my favour, whilst she can get LA to defend herself against misusing LA? I'd also guess that if she won I'd be responsible for her costs - if she has any, I have no idea if she is fully funded or not.

Surely this situation must be common place with the way that UK family law is so weighted in the resident parents favour (I am not being gender specific here) and with all the vindictive divorce stories I've sadly read about which reflect my own experience so far.
I would expect some form of free means of complaint along the lines of the legal complaints service.

I'm being stupidly naive again tho arent I!

Hi Dave - I had the same advice about a PI and also laughed it off at the time. I still think that it would have done v.little tho, getting proof she was a lying cheating cow would have meant v.little when it comes to kids and finances - she is the resident parent and that means everything.
My xw2b has BPD with aspects of NPD, horrendous PMT (I am no longer ashamed to admit I was an abused spouse bith physically and mentally for years) and has been caught lying about finances etc BUT I have been told by my sol none of this means anything because she is our childrens mother with residency.

coyi

It just keeps on suprising me how heavily the whole system is indeed weighted in favour of the resident parent. Some things just aint fair.

HI there, it does seem incredibly unfair when one party is legally aided and the other is not. Sometimes these matters can come to a war of atrition on costs and it is not weighted in your favour if you have no LA.

I guess you are way past being able to discuss matters with her?

It also seems unfair to me that behaviour seems to count for so little in the legal system. It sends out the message- hey we know that you cheated and lied and yet there will be no consequences for that- you won't be punished financially - we as a society want to make sure that you get what is fair- well the one who has been lied to and cheated on doesn't get what is fair do they? and as we all know here- life is not fair- it just is what it is- pretty rubbish at the moment as it goes.....