Not on LA but 'other half' is n think figs wrong?

I'm not on legal aid but my 'other half' is and seems to think it's funny that if I want to get anything done I'll have to pay through the nose.
However I have looked at the calculator and I think she may have used wrong figures, this based on what was presented as income at mediation and the Calculator questions, i.e.
1. benefits stated as weekly not monthly
2. not declaring payments I make for son
3. stating full mortgage liability (I pay half by bank transer to her - building society will only accept 1 mandate)
4. small PEP/savings values
5. equity in FMH
If I use her submitted figures she is entitled.
If I use accurate figures she is not.
I'm not gunning for her but to date in general she has been consistent in providing too little information, wrong information, half photocpied documents, etc, I think she thinks it's just a game and the stock answer is "maybe someone will pick up on it". Well I have.
It grieves me to think that some in the system just appear to take what is said for granted and proper checks are not completed. No wonder the country's in a mess.
Questions then-
1. Could the calculator be wrong?
2. If it's right what can/should I do about it?
3. If it transpires she is not entitled will her liabilities to date (solicitor fees, mediation, etc) be reviewed and if so by whom.
4. Will she have to cough up?
I'm only going on the Calculator questions, honest answers to the questions and the results the calculator gave me.
IF I'm right the whole thing seems a close second to the ease in which benefit fraud is committed.
If I'm wrong my conscience is clear, they are not my own made-up figures.
Yes I'm paranoid, have old fashioned values, etc, etc, but this whole process is her want and I (however unwilling) have no choice but to follow but I do want to ensure and will do my best to make sure everything is done properly 100% down the line.

Hi Rab, can only speak from my personal experience here - if shes lied about the application to LA, any investigation that transpires from your allegation...shell tell more lies to wriggle out of it.
Just been through similar with ex, I know he is not entitled to JSA, due to capital limits. His beneit was recently suspended....including his LA, then promptly re instated.
What fairy tale he came up with for this to happen....the mind boggles!
Regards, SG

Hi Rab

Not sure anyone can call on this. I have mixed responses to the issue you've raised, not all of them rational

I qualified for legal aid in my first divorce (1986/7) since I was a full-time mum, so no earnings to take into account. Having said that, any additional cost to me during that divorce would have had a direct impact on the children. You didn't say if there are children?

Are you asking about the simple moral dilemma of whether or not you should report her claim to be inappropriate / fraudulent? If so, I wouldn't assume to advise on anything like that because I think there are several factors involved and all of them require a personal view, only obtained by personal involvement.. in other words: You!

If it was me, however, before I made any kind of judgement call on this, I would have a serious talk with myself about what my own motives were and what I hoped to achieve from it. I would also spend some time looking at all the ramifications of such a decision.

For me, life is much simpler Rab... I've had 2 husbands and about to have a 2nd divorce. I've learned a lot from both. I'm not remotely interested in making judgements about people because they will do what they do for their own reasons and none of us is really qualified to judge another. You are, though, in a situation where what she does affects you - so you have the right (?) / freedom (?) to do something about it.

The only advice I will give is this: do only what you can live with Rab, because that's who you will be left with when this is all over.

Sorry this is a bit rambling and probably not helpful at all... but you did ask me to look

Nice to meet you yesterday - see you in chat

Shezi x

As i said to you yesterday Rab legal aid is a loan not a gift , it will have to be paid back out of her settlement and seeing that there is a house well thats where the money will come from.

It's all down to disposable income rab

You will have to have a serious think as Shezi says what you are going to do the more amicable you keep it the quicker it is and the least costs to both parties, start the mud slinging battle and be sure that it will take longer , cost more and have more of an effect on your children.

Shezi, Angel,
thanks, my dilemma I know.
There is 1 child still at home - 15.
My morales tell me it's wrong (and she knows it).
My heart tells me dont worry bout it, you still love her(?).
My head tells me so what?
My motives are to get her to start talking and get some agreements formally written down - slightly warped perhaps but I've tried everything else except staying schtum for the next 6 months!
My gut feeling is that it'd make things worse.
My frustration is all about fair and reasonable and being amicable and friendly (or not as it appears).
Perhaps I should try talking to her about it, perhaps/probably that in itself would create even more problems in the long run.
I know that long after this is over I can live with my conscience regardless of which way I go because none of this is my doing.
I don't even know whether she fully realises it is a loan not a gift - how does that work?
x

How does it work

Ok you have had legal aid and with legal aids help of getting you legal advise it has cost legal aid say 4k , through having legal aid you have recieved a settlement of 48k.

The way i see it if your not on legal aid you pay as you go or upfront when your on legal aid you pay afterwards as you don't have the means to pay first.

Does that make sense or only to me as i'm the typer ooer

It means that she has to pay her legal fees out of any settlement she receives Rab. In that sense, she doesn't gain anything but time to pay.

We all make compromises... I have lots of principles in life but even they fall into 3 categories -

1) those I wholly believe in and will not compromise
2) those I strongly believe in but might compromise on
3) those I would believe in (in an ideal world) and usually do compromise on

I think your dilemma might fall into category number 2 for me. What she's doing isn't something I would do - but as long as I'm not the one doing it, I probably wouldn't intervene because it's between her and her conscience (not to mention the law?).

Having said that, if my ex was doing it what would I do? I'd be seriously thingy'd off about it. If I acted on it? That would seriously thingy him off with me. Could I cope with that? Probably. Would I want to? Nope.

As we discussed Rab, you're in the FMH with your wife / I shared ours with my ex for 13 months in total but living in a seperated state. It was truly horrible. It only ended when it did because the house finally sold (May '07), I dread to think how long couples are doing this now because of the depressed house market.

God would forgive you for doing nothing but keeping your head down for the long haul Could you live with that?

Angel is spot on when she says that anything that you do to inflame the other party just incites the situation and, ultimately, the cost can (and often does) run into the thousands.

Can you live with the thought that she will have to pay it back at some point? I think the furthest I would probably go in the current climate is to politely point out to her the pay-back deal. Just so you know she knows...

That in itself tells her that you know she knows you know...

Take care honey

Shezi x