Son now wants to live with me

1) The official (and correct) way to go about changing the living arrangements would be to apply for a Child Arrangement Order. HOwever in most cases there is now a requirement to attend a mediation Information & Assessment Meeting before a court will hear a case. The mediator then confirms you have attended the MIAM in the court application Form C100.

2) There is a duty for parents to talk to each other and agree arrangements for their children. See;

www.judiciary.gov.uk/publications/protoc...expect-from-parents/

When parents cannot agree it is open for either of them to apply to court for a judicial decision. Keeping a child after contact is only justifiable when there is a child protection issue and in those cases it is advisable to go the official route.

If you act unilaterally and change the status quo there is a risk your ex will apply to court, an emergency hearing will be held and the court will make an interim order for your child to live with your ex to restore the status quo at least until investigations can be carried out and a court decision made. They are rarely needed but if someone doesn''t comply with a court to return a child the court has the power to make a recovery order and the court tipstaff may call on police to assist "recover" the child.





Children''s wishes and feelings are a consideration, but their views need to evaluated in light of their age and maturity and the family background. It isn''t at all unusual for separated parents to interpret a child''s behaviour differently and often a professional is required to get to the root cause of the problem. Children sometimes tell a separate parent what they think the parent wants to hear. Bear in mind that your child''s upset and distress may be found to be more to do with conflicts of loyalty or high levels of acrimony between you and your ex rather than the living arrangements.

That is such great information and advice. Fiona either you really know your stuff, or you must be a solicitor.

Many Thanks.

Fiona,

This has been really helpful.

I have been separated for four years (she won''t sign the Absolute bit). We have four children, and I have had regular contact with them, agreed overnights and time during the holidays. We live within ten miles of each other so it has been manageable.
Six weeks ago she announced that she was moving back to where she was from, 300 miles away. This was a shock to me, and the four children, three of whom are secondary school age.
Whilst difficult, I understand her reasoning, and have supported the move, and the three younger ones have acquiesced.
However, the older one, who is 14 has decided that he dows not want to go. I have discussed this at length with him over the preceding weeks, to the point where I have been encouraging him to go, rather than split the sibling group up.
However he is adamant that he would rather stay with me, which I am more than happy with as he feels so strongly about it.
She has refused this, saying that she will be taking him regardless of his wishes.

As the risk of duplication of your earlier reply, what are the ramifications of him remaining with me against her wishes. (We do have an agreement through the solicitors that she is the primary carer).
Time is against me because of the short notice she has given about the move, as she is leaving in a week to be in place before the schools start.
I am considering keeping him with me in the short term, although this will obviously upset her, and sorting it out afterwards.
I am not doing this to be antagonistic, as I genuinely believe ny son does want to remain with me.

Thanks

To avoid any doubt I''m not a solicitor and there is no substitute for independent legal advice.

Timing, rather than act unilaterally if no agreement can be reached and there isn''t a lot of time you can apply to court for Child Arrangement order to determine where your son shall live and a Prohibited Steps Order without notice or with short notice to prevent your wife removing your son from school until the court can investigate and make a decision where he is to live.