Shared care - how close should ex live?

Hi,

I just wanted to get others opinion on this.

My ex is moving house. I''ve asked him where he will be living and he is refusing to tell me which is sending alarm bells ringing!

We have been in court in the summer and one of our issues was he wanted shared residence. We now do a 6/8 split, so he has the children 2 school nights per week and alternate weekends. One of his arguements was that he lived close by (5 minute drive away) so shared care could work as however well you organise there are always things that need to be taken between the 2 houses. There was no mention of moving further away in the future. I''m annoyed as he deliberately chose not to disclose this and I feel it may have had an impact on the decision made.

So i''d like to get opinion on how far you can reasonably live apart from the other person/school etc to make it work.

Thanks in advance.

In one case shared residence was ordered even though the parents lived 400 miles apart. The arrangements changed so the children lived with one parent during the school term and 2 weeks of the summer holiday and with the other parent during the school Christmas, Easter and remaining summer holidays.

Of course Residence Orders have now been replaced with Child Arrangement Orders and the terms "residence" and "shared residence" are obsolete.

The best thing you can do is chill out. Very often more is revealed in time than when you press for information. If it turns out the move makes the current arrangements impractical you can negotiate a change, or return to the courts and request a variation.

Is the term ''shared care'' the new ''shared residence'' in child arrangement orders??

My judge opposed ''shared care'' as I lived just over 20 miles away.

Would be good to know the correct language we should now use.

What has replaced RP and nrp?

In your 6/8 split, does it involve handover between parents? Or it''s arranged that the parents just pick the kids up from school?

The challenge comes if he moves a long way away and there needs to be handover during half-terms and holidays. If I were you, I would get him to agree that he would do the driving, etc. and take the kids to you. After all, it''s him that''s moving away.


He may not be comfortable at this point to let you know where he''s moving to at this point in time. Eventually, he has to disclose as you need to know in case of emergency for the kids. Ask nicely for the sake of the kids. Also, be glad that he wants to be a big part in his kids'' lives.

MrsMathsisfun wrote;

"Would be good to know the correct language we should now use.

What has replaced RP and nrp?"


RP - the parent(s) with whom the child lives?

NRP, legally had no meaning in children proceedings - it was/is just a term used in child support legislation for child support purposes. If you look at children case law very few judgements , if any, refer to the NRP. One example coined by a judge is "the parent of a child for whom you no longer have the day-to-day care….. because you spend limited time with your child."

Maybe nrp should just be called the ''spare'' use in case of emergency! (or general babysitting duties)