father with no pr can he access children.

thanks for that your words make so much sense.
these poor children their lives hve been blown apart and i suppose i must stay strong for them and give them the stability they need.

it is just so hard when i m being disrespected by him at every turn nd they can see it.
the oldest is beginning to see what is going on with his dad but i dont want to put him in the position of telling the little one.

it is so hard and feel like the kids are melting down in front of my eyes.

i feel so angry towards my ex as i feel i have done everything in my power to make it easy for him and have at no point stopped him seeing them but i cannot let him carry on playing mind games with them.
not sure what the solution is but it helps being able to get advice on here.
sometimes it feels like my head is going to explode:angry:

Oh mumof3, wish I could give you a hug!
It''s very early days for you, I bit my tongue for 18 months before saying anything. By that time my son was already half way down the self destruct path. I only told him the minimum necessary, but I didn''t do it in a nasty way. You say your eldest is already beginning to see through the lies; your younger ones will too in time.

For now keep quiet and just be there for them. If divorce is inevitable then start taking practical steps to protect yourself and children. Do as much research as you can regarding the divorce process. To simplify there are 3 parts, all dealt with separately.
1. The dissolution of the marriage itself (divorce)
2. Children and residence - don''t think the word custody is used any longer.
3. Financial - known as Ancillary Relief.

I wish I could tell you it''s all going to be plain sailing, but it probably wont be.
I do understand your anger, it''s hard not to be. It will get better in time, but in the meantime time take it one day at a time. This may sound daft, but I used to imagine I was wearing an invisible suit of armour - just my way of dealing with all the fallout.

Stay strong, and feel free to PM me anytime.

thanks so much to all.
taking the little two to a friends party tonight and going to try and forget all this stress for the night.
will bring in 2015 with a glass of coke.
lets see what this year will bring cant be as bad as 2014.