Is this child neglect? What actions could I take?

You are right to be worried whether its neglect or not. My understanding is that childcare over certain length of time needs to be provided by registered child minders. Is that the case? If not, your ex could be at fault here.

I tried looking up the rules around this, and didnt find much. But thats what I was told by a nursery teacher.

Thank you turboB

Yes I am very concerned and for all the reasons I mentioned in my original post. This is just one of the strange decisions my stbx seems to be making. The place that my son was left i don''t believe was suitable for human residence, it was disgusting and probably one of the reasons she tried hiding his location from me. I''m going to go back and take some photographs. How anyone could leave there child there is beyond me.

TurboB wrote:

My understanding is that childcare over certain length of time needs to be provided by registered child minders.

That is wrong. For starters it would mean children couldn''t be looked after by their grand parents!

The place that my son was left i don''t believe was suitable for human residence, it was disgusting .... I''m going to go back and take some photographs

You can''t go back to someone''s home and photograph it simply because you don''t think the house was clean enough!

What safeguarding issues were there?

Your wife has full parental responsibility and is able to make decisions about your son when he is in her care - just as you are. Just because she has done something that you disagree with doesn''t mean it is either wrong or that she is guilty of neglect. Trying to impose your standards and parenting approach on to her won''t work - and will only make you look controlling. How would you feel if your wife accused you of neglect etc if you made a decision about your son that she didn''t agree with?


As I said before - choose your battles very wisely.

WYSPECIAL wrote:

TurboB wrote:

My understanding is that childcare over certain length of time needs to be provided by registered child minders.

That is wrong. For starters it would mean children couldn''t be looked after by their grand parents!

If you have the rules around this, please share. I did look and couldn''t find anything concrete. I know family is an exception, but clearly in this case, family is not looking after the original poster''s child. If its non-family i was told anything more than 2 hours needs to be by a registered minder.


update - best I could find was the following statement - Anyone caring for a child who is not related to them for more than two hours a day and are rewarded by any means (not just cash) is required by law to be registered.

Rubytuesday

Other than the internal house conditions there was a number of concerns including brothels and drugs addicts close by (if this women is involved in any of that, I''m not going to judge). I could continue about every detail but the conclusion is that only I saw what I saw and seeing my son there terrified me. It''s easy for someone else looking in to say "don''t worry she can do what she likes with her son" but the fact is, its my son and only I will live with the consequences if something happens to him.

Also thanks turboB I will look into what you have been saying and run it past my solicitor.

Unless your son was in direct contact with drug addicts, or in a house where there was drug paraphernalia, simply being in a house in a area where there may be addicts/alcoholics or sex workers isn''t necessarily a safeguarding issue.

No-one is saying that your wife can "do what she likes", but stating that she can make decisions relating to parenting when her son is in her care. That is completely different.

I understand you are very protective of your child (as are the vast majority of parents); but please think carefully about any steps you next take, and the repercussions they will have on everyone concerned - especially your son. In the middle of all this conflict is a little boy whose parents are at war with each other.

All you can do (reasonably) at this stage is let your wife know that should she need to go to work urgently and you are elsewhere, then she should always contact you first regarding the care of your son.

If you pursue this with say Social Services, they will poke relentlessly into every corner of your lives (including yours) with a severe scrutiny and open up a can of worms that can not be undone.

The "rules" TurboB was going on about is actually the ChildCare Act 2006 - and only applies when someone other than a relative looks after a child on a regular basis during certain times and receives a "payment" (not necessarily cash) for doing so. Empahis on regular and payment. A friend looking after a child on a one-off basis is exempt from this.

Bear in mind that you and your wife are still living in the same house, with your son - for goodness sake, try for his sake to introduce a calmer, less hostile and healthier atmosphere - even if it means having to bite your tongue or seethe inwardly at times. The sooner you resolve the financials, the sooner you can return to the quiet peaceful life that you had with your son before his mother returned back to the family home. Your son is only 8, and you have a long co-parenting road ahead of you, you will need to learn to give and take, compromise; and to accept that despite what you feel about your wife, she is, and will always be, your son''s mother.