Bad idea not to mention child in divorce papers?

Forseti wrote:

And yet you believe your husband should pay maintenance and that you should be considered the "primary carer"; beliefs which are not really consistent, somewhat anachronistic and likely to rock the boat

I do not believe he should pay maintenance as we are amicably splitting costs at present. And long may that continue.

A child needs a primary carer, no? My ex has a rather unpredictable, temperamental nature and I want to ensure that this does not effect our son. Or son does not want to go to his father's house, has become withdrawn at school, and suffers from separation anxiety from me. He wants to be with his siblings and me at home. But I continue to encourage him to spend 50% time with his father. But I'm worried this may not be suitable for him long term.

I'm concerned about my rights to act in his best interests, without having to involve the court's at a later date.

WYSPECIAL wrote:

In what way do you think it will work to his advantage? If your both happy and able to agree things you don't need to involve the Court.



Hag wrote:

I'd take the children with me. Contact at weekend's and holidays.

Will your ex agree to that? That may be the point he makes an application to Court to prevent it.

We agree at the moment but I'm not sure 50:50 will work for our son long term.

He wouldn't agree to the move and would likely apply to court to block it. Which is one of the reasons why I'm exploring whether not naming our son will have repercussions at a later date.

Hag wrote:

I do not believe he should pay maintenance as we are amicably splitting costs at present. And long may that continue.

My apologies; you said he refused to pay maintenance.

A child needs a primary carer, no?

No. A child needs two equally committed parents. The primary carer doctrine is pretty hackneyed now, and the introduction of Child Arrangements Orders to replace Residence and Contact Orders is supposed to reflect that.

Parents do not have "rights" under child legislation, only responsibilities - the situation is different in Scotland - so neither parent should be regarded as more important or more entitled than the other.