Child Maintenance. Am I paying twice?

My stbx wife and I have a Separation Agreement which is due to start in a couple of weeks when we complete on the sale of our house.
Our childcare arrangements are that our 2 girls will be with me 6 of every 14 days during term time and 50% during holidays. Our salaries are similar, and I will be paying £230 pcm in CM.

In response to the question, "what does child maintenance cover?", I know the generic response is that it covers general costs of raising a child ie. food, clothes etc. We are both likely to buy clothes for them anyway and the difference in food costs are minimal. Not sure if it''s supposed to cover the cost of putting a roof over their heads, but we both have that expense.

My concern is that I''m going to be asked to share the costs of everything else, in addition to the child maintenance (hence paying twice). I have already agreed that will we share the cost of school trips. I''ve tried asking what specifically the child maintenance covers, but her response is that she doesn''t have to tell me what she spends it on. I don''t disagree with that but that I''m concerned about paying once in CM, then again when we divide the cost of something.

Given that our salaries are similar, I''m keen that there should be some equality in our costs. However, I don''t want it to dissolve into an argument over a few quid.

Any advice?

I saw no one responded so let me give you the low down.

CM covers whatever the receiving parent wants it to. It will go towards, food, clothes, school trips.. or it will go directly towards your ex getting spray tans and acryllic nails.

You have no control over how she spends the money- and if your salaries are the same, I would just pay CM and spend the money on your kids when you see them, as opposed to giving it to her to supposedly buy things with.

You will find out that not all is equal divides in divorce and as the kids will reside with her, you will likley see less from the house sale and any other assets.

My husband had similar issues with his ex. She wanted the child maintenance and then him to pay half for all the clothes she bought. Half of school trips etc.

My husband spoke to csa and they said child maintenance was to cover all the things she was asking for. By law you don''t have to pay anything more than the csa rate of cm. They did say that she didn''t have to provide clothes when children with him.

He told her no. The only extras he pays is half of school shoes and the only need one pair at a time. Half of school trips over £10. She didn''t like it but no she has stopped asking.

Thanks for the replies. That''s kind of what I expected.

It''s unfortunate that if I say no to more, the comments (probably in front of our children) will be ''So, you don''t want to contribute to their upbringing?''.
I will then point out (not in front of the children) that I already do in the form of CM, and she will argue that CM is for putting a roof over their heads too. I will say ''But, I have to do that too'' and she will tell me how bad she has it (despite living mortgage free)... and so the conversation has been successfully steered away from the original point.

Oh yes... very similar story to many of us on here. Just tune out. I have gotten very good at that

Hi,
I take it that she is prepared to split the child benefit and tax credits with you ?

LB

Lostboy67 wrote:

Hi,
I take it that she is prepared to split the child benefit and tax credits with you ?

LB

Aaaa hahahahahahahaa.

I did try that line once. I was informed that, that money was just for the children, not her. Me: that''s what we''re talking about isn''t it? Her: So, you don''t want to take any responsibility for your kids?
et cetera, ad nauseum