Relocating my family

LouCheshire wrote:

No he didnt...and nor was he there when they were crying for him..and he cant help out and take days off when they're ill either..thats all down to me.
I think your answer was uncalled for.
The point I was trying to get across is that I didnt ask for him to leave me. I didnt MAKE him move 3 hours from his children...he chose to do that...yes he does see the children..on HIS terms..his new family always come 1st though.
My dream has always been to live in Cornwall..why on earth would I leave my children though?
Why would you make such an awful comment when you know nothing about me?

Ok ok,
I apologize, alright?
I was wrong to say it and I retract the statement.
Sorry,
Tom

I have to say Tom that your reply has really upset me...you dont know me or my story.
I've been to hell and back at the hands of my ex and could have done what I've seen many of my friends done and used my kids as weapons but I didnt and I have NEVER restricted contact at all.
My children (all 6 of them) are my life and I would NEVER leave them anywhere for a new life..if I was given the choice of cornwall OR my kids theres just no contest.
I cant get a bf because nobody will "take me on" with this many kids (even though oldest has his own place) so I live for my little ones..I work full time to support us all because my ex doesnt...I dont deserve sly comments Tom.
Lou

I appreciate your apology Tom.
I;m off out now to a committee meeting for my 3 year olds preschool when Im the fundraising co-ordinator...might be online later,
Lou x

I agree Lou. My ex has had very little to do with the children during their short lives everything that has needed doing i have done for them with very little support from my ex. He has always been very controlling and has constantly restricted me during all the time I have been with him to the point where I had no friends to call my own everywhere I went he had to go with me and if i did go out for a night out he would keep tabs on me. Now that we are divorcing I had hoped for a little more freedom and for me to live my life for myself and not for someone else and think that its unfair that by law i have to have his written consent to move the children with me for a new life else where. Like i have said previously he has had very little to do with our children and even now when he has contact with them he leaves them with his parents and they provide the care for them even when he is there to do that. I have been more than fair with the contact arrangements and like you say I have never stopped him from seeing the children like I know lots of divorcing people are involved with. I just know that if the subject of me relocating with someone new comes up he will never agree to it and the last thing I wanted was to air it in court i think its unfair. I have been controlled by him for too long and need to be alowed a fresh start.

What needs to be remembered is every situation is different. Sometimes parents who were not very involved with their chldren during the parents' relationship want to become more involved after separation. There is nothing wrong with that, better late than never.

It might be a parent with the majority of care is hostile to contact and moves away to put an obstacle in the way, or in the case of moving out of jurisdiction, to avoid complying with a court order. On the other hand a NRP might choose not to have a great deal of contact but object to a move that would give children a better quality life for purely selfish reasons, either because they can't be bothered to put in the travel or to exercise their control over the family.

Because situations are different when parents cannot agree about matters related to parental responsibility they have the right to a hearing so all the particular facts of a case can be weighed up and a decision made primarily on what is deemed best for the child.

The courts will consider contact history - how much, whether it was taken up, whether there was compliance with any orders etc. The motivation of the NRP's refusal to consent is also under scrutiny.

The courts have taken the view that it was not generally appropriate to restrict the rights of the primary carer to move within the UK. However, there have been cases when restrictions have been imposed because the move proposed was to particular parts of the UK which are difficult to access (eg parts of Devon and Cornwall) or the distance between the parents would be so great that contact would be frustrated. Also when shared residence is in roughly equal proportions the children may be better off staying in the same area and not having their education, friendships etc disrupted.

I am in the process, through the courts, of moving my family from England to Scotland. I was/am in a similar situation to Sarec72, PM if you'd like to discuss further. As Fiona says, everybody's situation is different and that's why this site is so helpful in making sense of our own circumstances.