Please help me....

The bottom line of divorce is that both parties will be worse off financially....when you go from one house to 2, things are much more expensive.

The important thing is to make sure one party doesn't lose too much, and that where children are involved they do not get too upset by their parents antics.

Try to keep positive, and remember there although divorce can be a crap time, there is life after it and you will be able to move on.

All the best

S

Ok here is where we stand with the finances. Now bearing in mind she "is going to take me to court"....

House in Midlands.... Mortgaged up to the hilt to the tune of £180,000. Currently in approx £50 - 60,000 negitive equity. On interest only. Already one month in arrears. This house WILL be getting repossessed soon. Be it a court repossession or we hand the keys back. Either way it is going as due to her moving out we simply cannot afford to keep it.

House down South.... Mortgaged to the tune of £186,000 on repayment. (Not enough equity to go onto Interest only). The house is in my name only both on the mortgage and deeds. This house is in negitive equity too. She inherited £30,000 from her late grandfather. She "owed" £5,500 to his estate as this was a loan to pay off the family car. This left £24,500 at the begining of this year. Her parents "lent" us the money to put a £21,000 deposit down on the house that I am currently living in, albeit it is the former marrital home that she has chosen to move out of. The agreement was that when the inheritance came through, they would get their money back straight away. (Look at it as a bridging type loan but with no interest). It turns out that she has not paid back the total sum and "we" are £4,000 short which we still owe her parents. We both signed a repayment contract and she told me that she had paid this money back but this would appear to be a load of rubbish. She says that £2,000 was spent on "household stuff" however she cannot recall where the other £2,000 went!! She says that "she" has £21,000 in the house and she wants it back, it's her money and not mine. You would not believe the threats that I have had both to my life and job if she doesn't get "her" money back!! In short she has said that it is up to me to make sure that she gets it.... I know this is bo11ocks as my solicitor told me that it is classed as marital assets??

I have a unsecured bank loan for £24,000 in my name only. Some of this (3£k) was used to pay for a family holiday to Cyprus last year and about £5,000 was used to pay off her debts/credit cards.

Our joint bank account has been frozen and it is currently well over the agreed overdraft limit.

Oh, and we owe our lads old private school £2,500 as she failled to cancel his placement within the alloted time and now they are threatening to take us to court!!

We do not have a single penny in savings between us.

Also, bear in mind that she has so far REFUSED to give me her new address so at the moment I am having to feild off all letters and calls from creditors on my own. When I told her this, her answer "I don't care"!!

How, in the name of all that is holy can she possibly take me to court for anything, please help me here, what can she possibly gain by going to court?? There is simply not enough in the pot unless I am missing something obvious here??

Again, any advice will be really helpful....

Hey confused, it is very easy to get stressed and worry about what is happening.
Like itgetsbetter says what she says and what she does are 2 different things, if she takes you to court it will cost her too, and what is she going to get.
It is only worth going to court if you had the two properties with no mortgage and you are a hells trip away from that, infact I would even pack for the trip.
Best thing to do is generally ignor everything she says, get a solicitor but only do the minimum with one. There doesnt seem to be anything to divide between you, Did I tak eit you have 2 cars? well you have one each then. end of that.
take one thing at a time, try to look to your future also getting contact with the kids sorted.

Confused

As Bobbin says going to court would be futile - your wife needs a reality check!

The only assets it sounds like the 2 of you have are your children. You both need to sit down and work out how you are going to support the children, whilst dealing with the creditors. Burying heads in the sand and ranting about court will not achieve anything!

How do you communicate with your wife? I really think both of you need to go somewhere like the CAB and get some goood debt advice. I suggest you prepare a list of all the creditors so that you can show it to your wife so she can see the reality of your situation

S

Hi

If no equity and if your job does not depend on you having a clean credit history why not go Bankrupt. Move out into rented accomodation taking everything you can and hand back keys, will be a really tough couple of months but within a year will be sorted and you will be reasonably debt free. Its not all roses you wont be able to borrow any more money for a while but it does get easier. I went through this 9 years ago and now have a brilliant credit history. It was the best thing my husband and I did there was no equity and so many debts was ridiculous.
This will also force your wife to go bankrupt but if she in rented accomodation will be ok. Problem will be loan to her parents they wont get it back unless she pays it. Also if bankrupt any moneyu in savings will be seized to cover debts so if she has put the 21k in bank she will loose it.
Its not a brilliant solution but at least you will be able to sleep at night and afford to live and see your children.

If you fight throught the court only the solicitors will win.
Tell her you are going bankrupt she may soon change her attitude.
Hope it works out ok.

Thanks for all the advice. It really does seem like she is burying her head in the sand....

Just to make it perfectly clear, there are NO assests whatsoever to speak of. There are no savings of anything like that at all.

I am personally going to go and speak to either the CAB of the CCCS again.

I hope that very soon she will calm down and realise that going to court for the square root of fu*k all really is not worth it at all as there is nothing to go round.

I think that she is also so hell bent on getting "her" £21,000 back that six months ago she freely put down as a cash deposit that she thinks she is doing the best thing.

I must say that trying to get through to her that the inheritance is (a) "ours" and not just hers as she thinks and (b) it has simply been swallowed up and there is nothing that she can do about it, is impossible.

I hope that she does get some sound advice and at least then we can try to sit down and discuss this like grown up's.

As you will have read on my previous posts, she is so full of hate and anger at the moment she is incapable of holding a rational conversation. Time will tell I guess....

Thanks once again and if there is any more advice then please keep it coming as I think I will be lurking around here for some time to come yet!!!!

I don't know if this is possible... but what is the chance of renting out your family home and then renting yourself something smaller?