payments for childcare

Hi

I'm wondering if somebody could help.

I have been a long-haul air stewardess for the last 13 years now. I went part-time after my daughter was born and cut my income by half, therefore becoming dependant on my husband. The length of the marriage was 3 and a half years.

My solicitor has told me that it will be taken into consideration that I sacrificed my career to look after my daughter in any clean-break settlement. My position is now this: my husband no longer wishes to have contact with my daughter. I am in a real predicament as I have no childcare to enable me to do my job. My husband is well aware of this and this is why he is behaving like this. I am also a part-time student so that I can make a life for myself and ny daughter in the future. Again, I have no childcare to enable me to go to lectures.

Please can somebdy tell me if it will be taken into consideration in any clean-break settlement, that I will either have to give up my job to look after my daughter (thus become unemployed and dependant on benefits), or employ a nanny/au pair to enable me to continue to work, and will my husband face financial responsibility for this? He is a self-employed director of a limited company earning at least three and a half times as much as me. I am also currently receiving no child maintenance but I am fighting this issue with the CSA. Thank you.

What sort of father no longer wants contact!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure about him having to contributefor childcare, especially as he isn't even paying maintenance. Someone will be along shortly with advice. I just wanted to say stay strong for you and your girl.

Hello and welcome to wiki. I regret I'm unable to answer your questions re CM but someone will come along soon and help you. There are lots of Mums and Dads who have knowledge about maintenance payments.

You are between a rock and a hard place at the moment and just finding out your rights will help calm your fears. You will find support and guidance here and friendship too through the whole process. Pop into Chat if you want to talk things over. People will make you welcome and listen to your worries.

As gettingoverit says what sort of Dad rejects their child but I guess you know. Big hug!!!

Stay with us and someone will get back to you. Take good care of yourself and your girl!

Mitchum xox

You need to talk to your solicitor and make sure that this is taken into account.

You should also go through his financial declarations and bank statements very carefully so that you can demonstrate his real available income from his expenditure - I think you can then also use this evidence with the CSA. Even though your marriage was short, you might also want to see if you can ask for spouse maintenance until you have completed your studies. Talk to your solicitor about all this and follow their advice.

Best wishes,
Sadie

There are a couple of things which spring to mind
a) have you claimed Working Tax Credit as this will help with the costs of childcare? You will need to be working at least 16 hours a week to claim this, however.
b) If you file for divorce, you can also file for maintenance pending suit which would give you a little extra money whilst things are sorted out.

I am worried for you in terms of your husband being a self-employed director. Mine was/is the same (long story!) and we only ever had a payment before we were due in court over child matters (he wanted shared residency). Since then, nothing (I claimed in March 2009). The CSA just don't have the teeth to be dealing with the self-employed and a half decent accountant can make any profit disappear. I'm afraid that the self-employed who don't want to pay either won't or will minimize their payments (legally, I might add). It's a wait and see on that one. In the meantime, you may want to think of having child support factored into your financial settlement which would give you some protection in the short term (after a year, either of you could go to the CSA unfortunately). It is unlikely that with a young child you would get a Clean Break - your ex is likely to have what's called a nominal spousal maintenance order. This is basically to leave the door open to you going back to him for more money should you fall on 'hard times' (not sure anyone can define what hard times are, though!).

As for dad not wanting to see his daughter, well, it's not uncommon. He may well 'come round' in a few weeks/months. In the meantime, reassure your daughther that her daddy loves her and try not to let her see how upset and angry you are at him. It can be hard to see the wood for the trees in the early days but things do settle down and you will manage to work things out.

Thank you all so much for the advice and support.

I have a solicitor's appointment in the next two weeks so hope that the issues become clearer.

I cannot claim working tax credits as I am contracted to work 15 hours a week, but thankfully I receive child tax credits. I will endeavour to investigate if I am entitled to more if I have to signigicantly increase my child care costs, and of course I will investigate the spousal maintenance issue too.

be cheeky - ask your boss to up your hours by an hour and see what he/she says. It can't do you any harm!