Child Maintenance / Mortgage (PLEASE HELP)

Tell her you are going to stop paying it and that she needs to google 'occupational rent' to understand why if she has any queries.

I know how you feel, as do most NRPs. But you cant get into more debt just to essentially, fund her lifestyle now can you? Then any equity you can get from the house will be offset against that.

With so little equity against debt you may find that a mesher type situation would be applicable whereas she remains in the home till your youngest is 18, she remarries or cohabs for a set amount of time then its sold and the equity split.
At the moment you are only looking at MAX 10K from the property anyway so letting it sit for a few years will probably be in your interest I would assume anyway.

With so little assets to distribute I would highly HIGHLY reccommend mediation however this will only be successful if she is willing to compromise.

SHE needs to get a grip, and you might have to force that by stopping the mortgage payment.

You've kinda hit the nail on the head, its cheap living for her at the moment so she will be in no rush to do anything.
As a thought just work out a worst case, that you loose you share of the property, that is around 10k, you would probably have that leached from you in about 4 years.
Your best approach might be to pettition you wife and apply for Ancillary Relief, if nothing else it will bring things to a close if you don't you will be paying until your stbx decids to remarry and wants to move things forward herself.

LB

THANKYOU EVERYONE

Spanner, just wanted to mention, forget about 50% especially if the kids live with her, but, you have so little equity this is about getting a deal or juggling what there is.
M advice, write down very clearly what was happened, where you are now and financially, take it to up to 3 free solicitor sessions, make it about half a page and ask one or two direct questions at the end, this is the best way to make the most from a free session, easier for them to read a passage than listen to you for 25 minutes.
It's what I did and it's helpful to gauge where you should be going forward.