Here we go again!!

Hi everyone

After some advice really.....

Thought things were fairly well sorted following my recent divorce finally after three long drawn out years. Had to threaten to take him back to court when he decided not to pay the full spousal maintenance but eventually got that sorted without court being necessary.

Now after two months of receiving the correct money I find this month's is nearly £150 short. My eldest child is due to go to uni in a couple of weeks so I was expecting the payment to decrease from 25% of his income to 20% as he will now be liable for 2 not three children. (He agreed in the Consent Order to pay CM in line with CSA calcs and rules).

However I think what he has done is just divide the amount by three and pay me two thirds instead. Unfortunately two thirds of 25% is less than 20%!! It is a bit difficult to tell though as he pays both my spousal and child maintenance in one standing order.

I have sent him three emails over the last four days but have been totally ignored.

I really don't know what to do - I am so sick and tired of dealing with him and am tempted to just put the CM payment in the hands of the CSA but have heard so many horror stories.

Any advice ??????????????

Hi Blackie

I was in a very similar situation to you. He stopped SM, got that sorted in court, but was paying what he considered to be CM, but I didn't know because I didn't know how much he earned.

I went to CSA, they were brilliant, sorted immediately and now get CSA every month without fail.

Thats good to know sillywoman!

Blackie - if he is self employed or has the capacity to go self employed at whim (he's a high earner from what I remember?),then avoid the CSA and push it through court and claim the costs of doing so.

I don't recommend dealing with the CSA, personally, as I do think there is something so fundamentally destructive between already struggling to get on parents that pushes things over the edge when wages are deducted at source.

However, if he's unlikely to be able to go self employed and he works for a resaonably large business with an HR department who are used to dealing with the CSA,it's probably a good idea to knock any messing about on the head.

Clear as mud.

Is the sm and cm actually combined as a segal order or are they just in the order?

No advice, but just a hug (((blackie)))

Hi mum and dukey

no he isnt self-employed or likely to be but a finance director of a relatively large organisation - would have thought it would be extremely embarrassing for his payroll dept to have to execute an attachment to earnings for him!!

The payments are not combined as a segal order - there is a set amount of SM in the consent order to be paid on a set date each month which is subject to annual review according to RPI and then in the preamble to the consent order it states that ex agrees to pay CM for the three children according to the calculations/rules of the CSA (or other relevant body)on a monthly basis, again with an annual review date whereby he agrees to provide me with copies of his last P60 and bonus details etc beforehand.

It is him who has set up a standing order for the combined amounts as they are both payable on the same day. I was expecting a decreased amount this month as we have reached the end of the academic year in which my eldest was 18 as I said but not this much of a decrease!

I can ASSUME it is the CM that has decreased as the amount of the decrease is exactly a third of the amount of CM that he was previously paying but I cannot be CERTAIN because he has not replied to any of my emails querying the payment! I am also loathe to second guess what he is actually doing as I cannot for the life of me see WHY he is doing this to his children. Another point is that I am supposed to attempt to take over the mortgage and the more he messes around with not complying with the terms the less likely it is that any mortgage lender is likely to take my maintenance into account and thus I will not be able to get him off the mortgage!!

I know what you mean about the deterioration of the relationship mum where the CSA get involved but I am ill with the worry and stress that he continually puts me through - this is what it was like being married to him and I had hoped to get away from all this!