Child maintenance

With respect to everyone, please think and put your children first. My/our now late mother managed this when divorcing my now late father which meant being completely disowned by both her own and his family.

My/our late mother was a lady of her time who happened to meet her

Prince Charming

later in life.

A kinder, gentleman who treated her like a queen.

Best wishes.

The CSA calculations are a blunt tool, and attempt to use the one-size-fits-all approach for each individual situation.

In the case of the OP, the ex is entitled to reduce CM for the number of overnights he has his child, I''m unclear if there is a reduction for the Sunday night or not. Where the child sleeps is irrelevant, as the father can choose what to do, and where when the child is in his care. While I understand the frustration that the child often spends nights at grandparents (which can only be beneficial to the child to have an on-going relationship with extended family), if the father chooses to not spend his time with his child, then more fool him.


There might be some who receive no financial assistance at all and have been left with the sole responsibility of bringing up children who might wonder what the problem is here - cm is being received, and the child is enjoying regular time with his/her father (even if the father is choosing to not take full advantage of that).

Are the handover times imposed by a court or agreed between you? Could he collect the child earlier or return after lunch on the Sunday? This is the inevitable consequence of a limited and rigid contact regime. Would sharing care more equitably be an option?

Our agreement is private, no CSA involvement. Stbx. did not deduct "his '' nights previously but is threatening to deduct now for these along with any holidays. (As said previously he''s entitled to do so). It''s just his contact is erratic at times not turning up and he has exaggerated about how much he has child!

The child has extensive school costs, transport fees uniform Etc no matter how many nights away.

I know perhaps. we should be grateful we get something, just thought it was bit petty of him especially as he is high earner, me unemployed? Perhaps I should request SM, but reluctant to do so want to support myself as much as possible.

Does he contribute towards the school fees separably from the CM, or is it all "included"?

Perhaps Sm in the interim until you find work might be something for you to consider?

I think you need to ensure you keep an accurate log of the nights the children are in his care, including those where he has asked grandparents to care for them.

If this changes the overnight stay catagory that he falls into eg. 0-52 nights, 52-104 nights, let the CSA know there has been a change in circumstances.