No way can a supposed single mum cry poverty!

If £250 a month for two children is correct, then dad''s take home pay must be around £1000 per month, perhaps less.

From that a separated father also has to pay rent, council tax, heating, travel expenses etc. and also has to feed and clothe his children when they are residing with him. It costs as much for a separated father to run a home as a separated mother.

Unfortunately poverty can affect both dad and mum in the event of divorce. It can''t be easy for either of them.

Well said Stepper. This is a point I made a while ago. Although my ex and I have very similar salaries the balance changes dramatically when you add in child benefit, tax credits, working tax credits, maintenance, etc... The balance in my situation then goes from 50/50 to 25/75 with mothers household having three times as much income as mine. This is not taking into consideration the financial input of her new husband (not his contribution towards my kids but towards the cost of their living). I still have to pay my mortgage, all the expense of clothing, feeding, entertaining the children while they are with me, constantly being badgered for extras, like school trips and extra cirrucular activities, childcare fees and so much more. the quality of life the children have with me id far poorer than when they live with mother, so you tell me why, as they grow up, will they want to spend time at my home cramped up in one room in a thwo bedroom house, because I couldnt afford to buy a three bedroom place, I was shafted out of the matrimonial four bedroom home we shared, lost half my pension when they were both pretty much on an equal footing. i could go on.. So I agree with the original poster. meh!!

I know what you mean about the constant badgering for extras by the children. My two grandchildren were at their dad recently for games and microsoft points. I knew that their dad was flat broke but did not want to let them down.

I nearly said something I shouldn''t in front of the boys but fortunately managed to keep a zip on my mouth! My son would have been furious with me if I had said anything which was non of my business, about financial arrangements.

I think tbh that every case is different & as a single mum with no benifits and less than £250 PCM for two children, with no overnights with x for the children & definitely no extras (kids use to come home for tea when overnight!!!) .... Forgive me but yes I do sometimes cry poverty.

97% of my income goes on morg, debt I took to pay x''s debt off and living, with the other 3% left to pay for clothes etc ... Needless to say am always chasing my tail with school clothes, winter clothes, Xmas etc etc.

So please don''t pigeon hole every single parent / female / single dad with this, every case is different & sometimes we rant & often the law isn''t fair but its all we have, until it changes.

Said my piece and await the backlash but heyho

JJx

Glad this has people talking, it''s a pity the nazi child maintenance division don''t listen.

Figures are correct. There is no disabled payment or if there is, it''s a scam/sham.

I have my kids 3 nights per week, yet I am "allowed" a discount for these 3 nights and "only" have to pay for the 4 nights I don''t have them.

Since I am NOT the primary carer I cannot go to CM myself, tell them to take money from my ex wife, and give it to me to pay for the 3 nights she doesn''t have them, even though she gets as much money per month as I do.

I have to pay mortgage, and all the other bills so I can have my kids for those 3 nights, and I buy them clothes, shoes, treats, extra curricular activities etc.

The law, and the CM division who are above the law, is each , as they say, an ass!

HideFromExWife

With all due respect, at this present time in your life and the lives of your children, this is a complete pain however your children will begin to understand as they get older. They will look "back on the day" at the sacrifices that you made for them in order to keep in contact with them. Then you will see the mature, respectful adults that you brought into this world.

Best Wishes

Sadly this is not always true as in my husbands case his ex wife walked away smelling of roses finance wise(and it was her who had the affair and pushed my husband out). The children (18 and nearly 20) live in New Zealand and have just been encouraged to ask my husband to support them through Uni (ex wife is financially better off than we are)despite the fact that they don''t particularly want anything else (other than what he can give them) to do with him (he gets no cards, presents or emails from them and basically doesn''t hear from them unless they are after something. I suppose it depends really on how their mother brings them up and if her influence has an impact.