My child leave home at 16 but now we have to pay?

My step son left the family home, that I share with his father, when he was 16 years old. He left saying he wanted nothing to do with us or his brothers or sisters and as he was 16 we could do nothing to stop him!

He moved in with his friends mother with no conversation from her to make sure we consented, which we didn't. We didn't want him to leave in the first place.

A few months ago I received the Child Benefit letter asking if he was still living at this address and being the law abiding person I said no and didn't give it a second thought.

Now we are being slapped with a CSA claim and as she gets his child benefit we are told she can do this. How can we be told to pay money to a complete strange. Do we have any rights? She is not even allowing us to speak to him or made any contact. She is not his mother, my husband has never even met her!

We have repeatedly asked him to come home but he refuses. What can we do?

Any help would be much appreciated.
Thank you

You say that he left when he was 16, how old is he now?
Is he still at school?

I really cannot see the CSA making payments to this woman, as for benefits, you would have to be a PWC, and I would assume that she would have no parental responsibility signed to her.

Unless of course, the mother knows this woman and there is something strange going on.

zara

This is the Child Benefit helpline 0871 434 0458.

I think any adult who is caring for a child over 16 in full-time education or training is entitled to claim CB.

CSA is child maintenance. This woman is presumably providing your stepson with a home, food etc and as he is not her child she thinks his parents should pay. I don't see what the problem is with that.

As your stepson is 16 I think the law would regard him as able to decide for himself whether or not he has contact with you and his father.

You might find that Social Services can offer you better advice.

But this site (aimed at teenagers) www.youthinformation.com/Templates/Internal.asp?NodeID=90596

says you can only leave home at 16 or 17 if your parents consent. Parents are also legally still responsible for children under 18.

This is a difficult situation and it would help if you and your stepson could all talk it over, maybe with an outside agency to facilitate.

But I would also say be thankful he is being looked after - he could easily be another child sleeping rough on the streets.

Sadly his mother passed away when he was 12 years old. He has lived with us full time since then. He is still 16 and, as far as we know, in full time education.

There is nothing you can do. A 16 year old is able to choose with whom they live and if they are in education or training a parent or person with care is entitled to apply for CB and CM.

Needingadvice1 wrote:

Sadly his mother passed away when he was 12 years old.

Was he lagally adopted by you?

Are you Foster Carers?

Would he still considered 'a child of the family' even if not with natural Birth parents; or non-resident?

I am his step mother with no legal responsibility but his father is his father!