Uplifting Moments

Hello wiki friends

I just wanna say that as of late I have been experiencing what I can only describe as an unburdening of my thoughts and concerns . It''s almost four years since the split . Divorce done and dusted , new friends , new radio show with freedom to develop it how I wish . I even breezed through a water leakage problem from the mains pipe under my house extension . A while back that would have floored me . I would not have been able to handle it . Builders and plumbers in house a bit of mess at time . All done now .
It''s strange when I look back on my journey and see how far I have come . My ex now no longer dominates my thoughts as much and when she does she is not as big as she was in my head . It''s like a person I once dated and not my wife . Weird , as if she is someone I once knew . That''s it . It really is strange , she is the mother of my children that is it nothing more . Ah well !! At least those those now free up my head to crack on with my life . She is her person now and I am mine .

Maybe the realisation that there is nothing that lives outside of me that I need to be happy . Or that I have somehow tapped into my creative side and loving my music and guitar playing . I have also tapped into my cooking skills again I was a chef in a previous life . Or maybe the hospital work that I do . Seeing people in hospital is very humbling and makes me feel grateful . .

I am not saying that everything is hunky dory , there are my loneliness times . Someone to talk to late evening and chew the cud .

Those that are just starting out on this journey . It''s cliche , but it will get better , you will heal , you will discover yourself . You will amaze yourself at how resilient you really are. You will find the real you because you will be doing what you want to do . You will become string and no longer take crap from anyone .
There is a saying that stress and depression are caused by living your life pleasing to others . I believe part of that maybe be true . Live your life in congruence with your true values and you change . Oh , I have had many a discerning look or comment from my children and family . Hey, so what . It''s your life only one person we need to please . Ha , I remember when the split happened I went and bought a guitar , net back to my roots . That caused a lot of talk amongst the family and children . Now, I have four guitars a mandolin and a banjo and an amp . In fact I have a music room which I love . Now , no comments from family or children . In fact gifts for me tend to centre around my music .

Yes the early days hurt , very much so . Believe me I do know such deep pain . We heal , we do become stronger and wiser . We learn a lesson we move on . We do not learn the lesson we stay stuck until we do . I was a slow learner I mean it''s almost four year now.

I write this because when I first joined wiki . I read post of a similar nature . People that had travelled a lot further than I. Those post encouraged me that if they can do it then so can I .our wise one captivated me , his writings and post inspire and I would strongly recommend that you at least read some of his post . Goes by the name of Marshy .
There are lots of other people on here who have travelled a long long way and also offer top top advice . People by far better qualified than I .

To those just starting and falsely believe that they cannot live without a partner . It''s a lie . A massive massive lie that you tell yourself . It just is not true .

You will come to realise that once you change from I can''t to I can and catch your self defeating talk then anything is possible . Just beat that inner demon procrastination and fear .

Warm thoughts to all on their journey . You can do this .

D


All will be well

What a lovely post to read, thank you.

Well said, Declan! Thank you.

Thanks Declan - I''m still feeling low and close to the edge. Having days where I just want it over with and some very good days in between. Those good days are getting much more than they were though. I think to myself where I was when all this started and realise we soon become much stronger people. We start to find ourselves again, but it takes a while to realise this.

Declan

Thanks for this. Both you and Marshy (along with numerous others) post such helful thoughts.

I am 9 months in and waiting on my wife to leave in a couple of months. If I compare where I am now I have made huge progress but I am still having really low times.

I think what I am getting better at is just letting the low times roll by. It is excruciating to feel such sadness and pain and I hope they lessen in time.

I guess I am not alone in thinking - if only things were back the way they were it would be fine. I suspect that is not the case and that for those who are the ones being left we tend to look at our relationship with rose tinted spectacles.

The day will come hopefully when I can stop endlessly playing this out in my head and analysing things.

M.

I like this, very well said and from the heart, helpful to many. It is good to know that ever day does not have to be a good day for it to be a good life.
Healing is an ongoing process. As is survival financially, and physically.
As long as we have life, we have hope, and I guess vice versa as long as we have hope we have life.
Many times I have found that bare hope was all that I have had, and must be enough until I get to another step where I can climb up a bit.
I enjoyed reading this, thanks always for encouragement and sharing of your thoughts and feelings. I know for one, i am ready )
Hope the rest of the week is great for you and for everyone.

What an amazing piece Declan. Straight from the heart, thank you, music is healing I couldn''t listen to any type of music but now it''s getting better. Declan if you play music as you write, it''s a matter of time for us to hear your music as we read your writing. The very best to you and all of us wikis