Having a tough few days

Hi all again
Bumped into STBX this morning and out it all poured again, how much I love him and want him back. Why do I keep doing it!!! He lives with gf number two and is on dating sites seeing other women, he doesn't want me and never will, so when will I accept it.

He was clear on the fact he wants to divorce and be rid of me so I have to prepare myself for what is going to be the toughest year or so since he left me.

Any suggestions of what if anything I will come out of this marriage with apart from emotional damage.

Separated just over 2 years
Together 22 years, married for 15 ( when he left)
FMH value £230,000
Outstanding mort £190,000 interest only, 10 years remaining.
Charging order or restriction on FMH for approx £50,000 in STBX sole name.

Me
Age 55
Salary 17,000
No savings
No pension
I live in FMH and pay all bills.
Outgoings £1,500 pm (just the basics, no holidays or luxuries)

Him
Age 54
Self employed, no idea of true income now, but past years averaged at around £50,000
He became a director of his fathers limited company in Dec 2016 in preparation for his death (days away now) which will generate a sizeable income for him. Business assets are in excess of 2 million. Income is to be split between 5 other family members, don't know much more than that. There is a possibility the business assets will be sold after his fathers death.
Pension, frozen for entire duration of marriage, payable at age 55
He lives with OW in her property, not sure if it's rented or owned.
Outgoings, Unknown.

Is there any point in me fighting or just throw in the towel, sell the FMH and rent a little flat?

Opinions would be really appreciated

Have you tried counselling? When my marriage broke down I went to see a counsellor that my Doctor recommended and it really did help. The first few sessions were quite emotional but with her guidance I started to accept what had happened and learnt to let go.

Just a suggestion

Funny you should mention that sunglasses, I actually decided today I needed some help coming to terms with the situation. Good to hear it works too.

I know myself that talking to friends and family does help but I personally found counselling was the best thing. I found that it helped me work through all the emotions anger, begging, feeling the victim but now I am finally at the acceptance stage. I still have days when I feel low and I guess I always will. But I find myself enjoying life again and I never thought I would be able to get to the stage I am at now.

Thank you for the positive post, I really wish I didn't feel like this. He is a narcissistic, mind game player and a cheat, why on earth would I think I want him, but I do!

My husband had some of the traits you have mentioned. It took me a long time to realise it wasn't him that I wanted back but a relationship by that I mean being with someone. I also learnt that I had invested so much time and energy into my marriage that I felt they had been wasted years. What I do now when I miss my husband I remember all the things he had done to me. I found it really helped to write it all down and then when ever I am feeling low I read what I have written and it helps me know that I am now in a much better place.

Of course it will take time to move on completely from him as you loved him and that emotion you just can't switch off from that quickly. Don't be hard on yourself I promise you it will get easier with time.

Okay this is hard for me as I thought I had secured a good deal: i.e. 65% in my favour it has now appeared STBX has put an accepted offer on a 4 bed detached executive home - so based on his mortgage borrowing capacity and equity from Fmh how does this work??? - its way out on figures - I always knew that gut wrenching feeling was right