Should I do a DIY Divorce

My Husband left in Dec after 10 yrs of marriage to move in with his new girlfriend and son.

We have 3 kids together, he has until a week a ago he paid no contribution to the kids or mortgage.

The CSA have caught up with him now.

He is divorcing me for unreasonable behaviour, and so far has refused collabaritve law, mediation and won't communicate with with. He sees the kids at the weekend.

I have now had to go part time as i do shift work and was unable to continue once he left.

I think from the way it he has behaved since leaving it is going to be a big battle.

I just want him to have regular contact with the kids, pay a reasonable amount of maintenance and sign the house over to me.

I'm really worried about the solicitors costs and as i've only got about £2000-00 left after aready paying £2000-00 so far.

I don't qualify for legal aid. Should i risk representing my self and whats the worst that could happen?

£2000 won't get you very far, I regret to say. Unfortunately,
if your husband is going to pay silly beggars, that is a surefire way of bumping up the costs.

First question. Have you considered your possible entitlement to tax credits now you've gone part time ?

You should be in a strong position when it comes to keeping the house, if you have three children. If he plays ducks and drakes with maintenance payments, as he may well do, I'd be tempted, were I the Judge, to award you the house outright because he's such a bad risk for paying maintenance. He's got a home anyway.

I once read an article by a District Judge about the folly of self repping, with particular reference to Heather Mills McCartney. This article made me SEETHE with frustration.

In the first place, His Honour might perhaps have addressed his eloquence on another matter - how to make the divorce process a hell of a sight cheaper and less complicated so that the costs need not be so ruinous. What is sauce for Heather Mills' goose is not necessarily sauce for Mr and Mrs Average's gander.

If you had a system of informal arbitration for simple cases, with severe sanctions for those who will not co-operate, self repping might not be necessary.

I should add that most DJ's do try their best to help self reppers and to get to the truth of the matter and make a fair ruling - which is just how it should be.

If you google a website ' Family Lore ' there is a book by John Bolch about doing your own divorce. It's quite reasonable but I haven't myself seen it so can't comment on how good it might be.

Mike

Thanks Mike for replying.

Yes my tax credits have gone up so I am not losing as much as I thought I would.

I was thinking today of trying to put £4-500 aside each month to anticipate the costs.

To be honest that at present is my biggest worry, hopefully fingers crossed I can take on the mortgage myself the last thing I want is to get into debt.


Jane

I seriously do recommed doing DIY divorce, as the legal profession will do everything they can to make as much moeny as they can.

I think should post more information about your assets.

WHo told you that you are not entitled to legal Aid ?, if its your solictor then I recommend that you speak to the Legal Aid Board yourself, Solictor dont like doing legal Aid work, so they often tell lie's.

I recommend that its probable best if you can try and talk to him and this will save you thousands of pounds, Seriously you expect him to sign the house over to you, what does he get ?

I agree smalik my last divorce cost me in access of £5000 for an uncontested settlement.

I agree totally with smalik, it is always better to try and resolve your finances by negotiation.

However you said that your x2b is not playing ball, and unfortunately, it takes two to tango. What I said made that assumption.

I once prepared a paper on saving Legal costs, and you may perhaps find it helpful.

Good luck

Mike

Thnaks everyone,

I have pleaded with him to try and sort this out between ourselves but he never replies.

His new partner who is probably advising him is on benefits, has 1 child and lives in rented accomodation, her divorce would have cost next to nothing.

He now lives rent free with her (think she gets disability benefits).

I know because he is using one of our old bank accounts and i can log on and see what he's been spending.

Up until recently we were both earning similar amounts, i'm on less now as have gone p/t but my tax credits almost cover this.

Also he ticked on the divorce form that he would consider mediation, yet when i tried to get him to go again he just ignored this.