Financial Agreement in Separation

I realise you were not neccessarily replying to my original question but as said before circumstances are very similar. A related question however. I had been advised (perhaps wrongly) that anything I am paying since I left the FMH and before formal settlement is agreed is voluntary and if my STBX was to take me to CMS as she is threatening to do then it cannot be retrospectively claimed. Can someone clarify this as I am a worried man if it can be and after having paid so much more over the last 12 months than I needed to.

Thanks

My apologies - as I understand it the CSA/cm people cannot go back months and months. I think at most they can go from the date the case is opened with them and perhaps the month before. So no, not a lot of possible back pay but I would suggest doing the calc now anyway and paying it as a separate amount.

I wouldn''t be worried by any threats to go to the CSA/CM at the amounts you are paying, they are not that bad and if you can show you are being fair you probably won''t have any problems.

But better safe than sorry, my ex told them that I''d paid no child maintenance at all when actually I''d been paying over about £900 a month for 12 months against bills and mortgage. It didn''t make any difference to what I paid going forward but remember, the CSA 90% of the time are chasing fathers who won''t pay. The sooner and more clearly you can demonstrate you are not one of those dads the easier the conversations will be. A clear set of bank statements showing a payment will be helpful because the chances are the CSA/cm peeps will be involved at some point.

Apologies I will go back and look at your original question

Thanks for all of the advice.

I have now set up two separate monthly payments, one for Child Maintenance & the other for Spousal Maintenance.

I have also spoken with my wife to advice her of this.

Hopefully you''ve taken legal advice on this ? Are you getting a Consent Order drawn up or is this just a temporary thing? It might be best to run it be a solicitor as you don''t want to end up making these payments indefinitely?

my husband earns £2100 pm and wants to pay me £230 child maintenance. I think you are being over generous.

Getting legal advice or mediation would probably help in this matter. On paper it would make sense that you have a reduction, but other factors might come into play that an expert would know more about.
Good luck going forward.

I am in the same situation as you but with few differences. I moved out in January as she became abusive after the finalisation of our divorce. I paid approx. £1,500 from Jan to May. In May, I cancelled virgin media in my name and she transferred electricity, gas and water to her name, but then she left me with all of the arrears on electricity and water from Jan to May (£1,000), which I had to clear as they were accrued on my account, despite not living in the house. I still pay the mortgage (£900), which is also unbearable given I have the kids 3 nights a week and I have to survive.

I have tried to negotiate the sale of the house where she takes all equity and all I have heard so far has been a resounding "NO". We have our first hearing next week so at least I''ll know where I stand financially. My advice to you is simple, file to the courts for financial order and let the judge decide. Never reason with the unreasonable!