D81 Question

Hello,

The Decree Absolute has already been granted and now I’m looking to conclude and sever all ties with my ex-husband by way of a Consent Order.

We’ve both got solicitors. I was the petitioner for divorce and I’m the Respondent in the financials. A draft D81 was put together after all our discussion. My ex-husband wrote all the wording and submitted to his solicitor. He sent me a copy to read at the same time.

I disagree with how he’s written this draft as it omits much of the truth and certainly plays down the whole situation.

I amended the draft so it reads exactly how it was and is but, he doesn’t like my wording etc. Rather than just faff around with yet another huge thread of emails between us, likely to no end, can I not simply submit the D81as a single application/form, explaining my ex will only sign if I omit truths and input language that’s selective and favourable to him/for him?

I hope that makes sense. Thanks in advance for any replies!

A consent order is an order made by the court which was agreed between the parties. If the parties do not agree, you cannot have a consent order.

The only way to obtain an order which isn't agreed is to continue with the process of going to Court. I assume there is a hearing listed if your ex has made a financial application?

Charles

Thank you for your message, Charles.

There’s no hearing listed as he’s not made an application.

He’s simply wanting me to sign based on his opaque and vague wording. The D81 clearly states to say how the agreement was made between us, all I’m doing is stating the truths he’s selectively trying to omit to totally play down matters, including his conduct during marriage (which my barrister said is absolutely gross misconduct) and not to mention my health including my breakdown.

He also doesn’t want me to state I’ve no other forms of income or pension towards my retirement other than a state pension. He also wants me to omit that I’d have to work for a full and further 13 years, without illness or injury, in order to qualify for a full state pension.

As I’m simply stating all truths, why should he have a problem with this!

He’s not wanting to go the Court route based on his conduct during marriage (and reason for divorce) and he’s also awaiting sentencing after being convicted of criminal offences.

Thank you.

Thank you for your message, Charles.

There’s no hearing listed as he’s not made an application.

He’s simply wanting me to sign based on his opaque and vague wording. The D81 clearly states to say how the agreement was made between us, all I’m doing is stating the truths he’s selectively trying to omit to totally play down matters, including his conduct during marriage (which my barrister said is absolutely gross misconduct) and not to mention my health including my breakdown.

He also doesn’t want me to state I’ve no other forms of income or pension towards my retirement other than a state pension. He also wants me to omit that I’d have to work for a full and further 13 years, without illness or injury, in order to qualify for a full state pension.

As I’m simply stating all truths, why should he have a problem with this!

He’s not wanting to go the Court route based on his conduct during marriage (and reason for divorce) and he’s also awaiting sentencing after being convicted of criminal offences.

Thank you.

Have you had legal advice that the agreement you have reached is fair?

If you have then the D81 should be little more than a statement setting out your finances and noting how agreement was reached. It is not a place to include arguments about conduct etc unless it has been agreed that conduct is a factor in the settlement. It very rarely is; needs are the first consideration. Your needs and means should be set out honestly.

The judge who is asked to approve the consent order will not be interested in tit for tat arguments. Including them may disincline them to approve the order. The same may apply if the draft order does not allow for pension sharing or offsetting at an appropriate level.

However you cannot rely on a judge to reject the order if it has been signed and agreed. You need to make sure the agreed settlement is fair in the circumstances before signing anything. If there are doubts, you may need to consider a court application. mediation should be tried unless you are exempt.

Hadenoughnow

Thank you, hadenoughnow, for your response.

I appreciate all your comments and, I know the D81 isn’t a place for arguments however, this isn’t an argument, it’s stating facts I think

and, my solicitor thinks, the Judge should be aware of.

Whichever Judge sees our paperwork won’t have any idea of what’s gone on and how the agreement was reached if certain facts weren’t stated, my breakdown for example and the fact we’ve been enforceably separated 75% of a short marriage due to his criminal offences.

I had money before we met, he came to me with virtually nothing and, it’s not right I shell out for a short childless marriage to a person who was arrested and confined after only 9 months of marriage and he knew this would happen before we married. That is far from “tit for tat”.

The draft hasn’t been signed and there’s no pension sharing or offsetting as apparently, I’m not entitled to his military pension accrued before marriage.

It’s agreed I’m to pay him a lump sum but I want to ensure that it’s agreed and I’m to pay him no more. Also, to ensure that I’m not pursued by the authorities to then further pay his fine and restitution which he’s threatened I may have to, as well as a lien/levy on my house until said financial criminal liabilities are fully discharged.

I just want to ensure the judge is made aware of the nuts and bolts of this absolutely farcical marriage and, marriage to a liar, cheat and all but convicted criminal for very serious criminal offences.

Many thanks.

Thank you, hadenoughnow, for your response.

I appreciate all your comments and, I know the D81 isn’t a place for arguments however, this isn’t an argument, it’s stating facts I think

and, my solicitor thinks, the Judge should be aware of.

Whichever Judge sees our paperwork won’t have any idea of what’s gone on and how the agreement was reached if certain facts weren’t stated, my breakdown for example and the fact we’ve been enforceably separated 75% of a short marriage due to his criminal offences.

I had money before we met, he came to me with virtually nothing and, it’s not right I shell out for a short childless marriage to a person who was arrested and confined after only 9 months of marriage and he knew this would happen before we married. That is far from “tit for tat”.

The draft hasn’t been signed and there’s no pension sharing or offsetting as apparently, I’m not entitled to his military pension accrued before marriage.

It’s agreed I’m to pay him a lump sum but I want to ensure that it’s agreed and I’m to pay him no more. Also, to ensure that I’m not pursued by the authorities to then further pay his fine and restitution which he’s threatened I may have to, as well as a lien/levy on my house until said financial criminal liabilities are fully discharged.

I just want to ensure the judge is made aware of the nuts and bolts of this absolutely farcical marriage and, marriage to a liar, cheat and all but convicted criminal for very serious criminal offences.

Many thanks.