Getting my head around it all.

Hi,

I seperated from my husband in June last yr after he pushed me through a glass door. After what felt like a century (three wks), & alot of support from me & my family (including £1200 deposit) he moved into a flat near by. We,(my family & I) begged, donated & sourced furniture (kids beds, bedding, cutlery, pots, plates, you get the idea) including a fridge & oven.

I offered him, anything furniture wise from the marital home, & all he took was a load of CDs, DVDs & all his fishing gear. He went out & brought a brand new flat screen TV, a £2000 leather sofa and computer.

I recieved not a penny in childcare cost or maint' untill two wks ago after a threat of the CSA. The CSA gave me a figure of £80 per wk, he pays £50 it is voluntry.

He sent me an email yesterday, he wishes to divorce & that his solicitor has said we must split the assets (no home as rented) In this email he has draw up a list of his est value. (bed linen £150, CDs and DVDs £550!! but also wants to split the fridge cooker and wash mach)

I am really excited that we are finally going forward for a divorce but I am stuggling to see how we can divide what little is in the house. We have two children (6 & 8) & he has seen them once since Feb. He has also sed he is not bothered about seeing the kids, which is the only thing I'm upset about because I'm the one who has to pik up the pieces. I am booking a solicitors appoint today and hope to get good advice.

Wow sorry I've written loads.

SD x

Wot a prat!

I realise that these items may seem important to him but when they say "divide assets" they mean things of value such as the martial home, pensions, savings etc - not things like his sad CD collection and the duvet.
I am sure that the solicitor will advise you further

Thank you,

Yes I had a little giggle when it came through, at his "valuations" which are........interesting.

My only concern (or even care) is that he stated he isn't interested in the kids so I can "keep" them. And at the end of the day, he can have every item in the house, I'll live with no furniture, in an empty shell, as long as the kids are with me.

S x

In my opinion, if that's how he looks at his children then you will be so much better off without him. I left my wife and had to leave my kids as well, but I speak to them on the phone just about everyday and see them twice a week. I couldn't imagine life without them.

well done for gettng rid of him - you deserve better.

the solicitor will advise you more but if it was me, you offered him at the beginning what he wanted - he took nothing.

I would look at the things he has asked for value of (loser) they are only worth what you would get on ebay. tell him that you will box them up for him and he can pick them up _ give him a date - if he doesnt collect them - bin them.


your solicitor will advise you. take care of yourself. your children are better off without him, but i know what you mean, my x left and it grates me that i have to cope with the fallout. they will love you all the more for it though.

Thank you so much to you guys.

This is probably how everyone feels but it gets lonely dealing with this, as I just want to be able to live and enjoy, rather than wondering when the next barrage of emails or narky phone calls will come through.

I have contacted my solicitor and will be seeing her soon.

Although I am excited to "see the light at the end of the tunnel" by starting the end (so to speak)with a divorce, I am realistic that, as all he keeps doing is demanding money off me, then it is unlikely he will ever be happy with what he gets.

I agree with Rosie Posie - your ex is a prat!....or worse!

I think if you stand up to him when he demands stuff he will ultimately stop. My situation is the reverse in that my wife upped and left and the children stayed with me, although she does now have them nearly half the time as she worked out she couldn't claim child tax credit if she didn't actually look after the children!!

When she left I was working from home and earning very good money and was prepared to help her out. Me being an idiot thought that she just needed space and that she would get her mid life crisis out of her system and come pack so I was paying her hand over fist. First couple of months I paid her £600 a month child maintenance and she had the kids 8 days both months! I also said she could do the ironing and I would put petrol in her car....then she asked me for £200 petrol for a month. Turned out she had gone on a course down in Exeter, claimed mileage from her work and tried to get money off me too! I saw the light after I spent a whole week having the kids whilst she went on holiday with a group of friends to Italy, helped the kids lok after her cat, empty the litter tray etc and then found out she had actually been away with her new man. So I started to stand up to her! She is still not happy, but as I am now not working it is tough and she is finally trying to support herself and not sponging off me!

When he asks for half a duvet ask him which half!!

Good luck

S