My Story

Hi,
This is the first time I've posted, but I'm sure you've heard this before. About 6 weeks ago I found a secret email account that my husband had that was used to arrange meetings with prostitutes, log into porn sites and date like minded women. The account was opened in 2005, but my husband admits he has been doing this our entire 15 year marriage. During this time I gave up two jobs and had two career changes to accommodate his career. The last move was from the US to Australia. I found out that year that he had been spending 1-3K a month at live cam sites. At that time I intended to have routine back surgery and go back to the US and possibly my old job, but the surgery was not successful and now I am disabled.
I have thought about trying to save the marriage, but I want a separation even though it will certainly mean a lower standard of living. My husband is sorry that he hurt me, but he doesn't seem to regret what he has done or believe that it was wrong. We see a marriage counselor, but he has yet to see a therapist privately, even though he has been advised to see one by the marriage counselor. He has yet to be tested for STD's, even though I have already been.
I am trying to negotiate an agreement for alimony without a lawyer, as I have been advised, because of the high cost of solicitors here. He is fighting me tooth and nail, I have come to the conclusion he does not think I am entitled to anything he has earned. I estimate that he has spent 100K over the past 15 years on this.
I was stupid for coming to Australia and not putting money aside for me, as he has gone through most of the savings, most recently last year with 30K spend running back and forth to the US to deal with sick parents, in addition to about 10K spent on the other stuff. I don't feel as if I can trust him and I certainly couldn't deal with another betrayal 10 years from now, when I will be in my 60's. I feel I don't have a choice, yet he is angry with me for not staying. I have a plane ticket the end of June. I'm trying to get some health concerns taken care of and trying to see a solicitor, but I am meeting obstacles at every turn.

Hi
I'm so sorry to hear your story, its awful the fact that hes deceived you throughout all of your marriage and hes not the person you thought he was.
You will get so much support and help on here you have to think
whats best for you now, you are the first priority now and you have to keep strong for yourself.
Take care
Molly05

Hi determined,

I'm sorry to hear your story, it must be a very difficult time for you. You have found a good place for advice and support here at wiki, both on the forums and the chat room should you wish to venture in there.

You may like to read the Australian divorce guide and browse the Australian library for helpful information.

determined wrote and hasn't logged on for over a month:

"see above"

Molly05 kindly replied immediately:

You will get so much support and help on here

Let's hope so

rosiegirl wrote some 6 weeks later:

Hi determined,

I'm sorry to hear your story, it must be a very difficult time for you. You have found a good place for advice and support here at wiki, both on the forums and the chat room should you wish to venture in there.

Is this reply someones idea of a joke!!!

No middi my reply was not a joke. I'm aware that determined had not logged on for a month but they will get an email showing that a reply was posted on their thread. Members often come back after being away for awhile for many reasons. They may well be browsing the site without being logged on aswell.

I noticed that determined is an Australian user and pointed them in the direction of some services on wiki that are for our Australian members.

Begging the question. Why didn't you just send her an email then?

I reply in the forum as this is where the original post was made. The email I was talking about was the automatic one that people get when a reply is made on a thread that they have posted on.